Living-in, In Times of the 'hookup' Culture

It is the age of Tinder. The app dictates single people’s lives. If you go to any Indian who is currently not in a relationship, chances are that they will be on Tinder. With Tinder, comes the hookup culture. India has been trying to westernise for a very long time and young people feel free to express their sexuality and no longer believe preserving their virginity for their tobe husband or wife.

Living in with your partner has become a way of trial and error before getting married. Although live-in relationships aren’t a new term, they have been around for ages, they are more accepted today.

In this fast-moving, hook up and tinder culture, sometimes people find a person who they are completely enthralled by and want to take things further. Living in with your partner has become a way of trial and error before getting married. Although live-in relationships aren’t a new term, they have been around for ages, they are more accepted today. In fact, live-in relationships are considered legal, and partners are considered married if they have lived together for a significant amount of time.

“Casual sex is not meant to be taken seriously, but it's not outrageous if someone actually takes an interest in someone they've hooked up with and want to explore something more with that person.”

Traditionally hooking up, has been seen in a bad light, as a ‘western’ influence. However, young men and women disagree, for them, sometimes hooking up, and getting into a relationship go hand in hand. Lavanya Narayan, a 26-year-old who has been living with her boyfriend for the last one year said, “Casual sex is not meant to be taken seriously, but it's not outrageous if someone actually takes an interest in someone they've hooked up with and want to explore something more with that person.” She adds,"The real problem in hookup culture is that people engaging with each other, whether it is platonically, romantically or sexually is that they are not open and honest with each other about what is to be expected."

“Living-in grows relationships beyond just momentary gratifications, instant messages and booty calls. I guess it's called growing up, but in this case, it's growing together.”

Others think that living-in with your partner is a good way to get to know each other and build your life together. Kartik Singh*, a 27-year-old who has been living in with his girlfriend for over a year tells us, “Getting together, living in, spending time and effort and starting off little traditions of your own at a home you build together; is way more satisfying than any other amorous encounter you've had otherwise - small or large.” He adds, “It grows relationships beyond just momentary gratifications, instant messages and booty calls. I guess it's called growing up, but in this case, it's growing together.”

Mansi Paul*, a 30-year-old who lived with her boyfriend for two years before they got married told us, “It can be sometimes hard to adjust to a new home when you get married. It is not easy to just start living with another person, even if the person has been your boyfriend for years, so living in is a safer choice for people because you get to know the pros and cons, and if it doesn’t work, then you can just pack up and walk away rather than go through a divorce and face two different families.”

Hooking up is a way to keep themselves satisfied sexually, maybe, but the larger goal is still finding someone to wake up next to every day. Whether that ends in marriage or not, young people don’t seem to care.

A lot of young people are opting out of marriage, but are open to living with someone. Hooking up is a way to keep themselves satisfied sexually, maybe, but the larger goal is still finding someone to wake up next to every day. Whether that ends in marriage or not, young people don’t seem to care. Living for today is what it's all about.

* - names changed on request

Pic credits: naahq.org

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Read more stories by Nikhita Sanotra