Kerala Woman Moves Court Over Family's Instructions For Birthing 'Good Boy'

In a shocking revelation before the Kerala High Court, a woman sought intervention against her husband, father-in-law, and mother-in-law for allegedly orchestrating pre-conception sex selection methods to ensure the birth of a male child. The woman, whose marriage took place in 2012, claims to have been handed a note on the first day of her marriage containing explicit instructions on how to conceive a 'good boy child' rather than a girl, as the family perceived the latter as a 'financial burden'.

The Alarming Allegations

The note, presented by her husband and his family, outlined specific instructions regarding the precise manner and timing of sexual intercourse to achieve a purported 95 percent chance of conceiving a male child. It reflected a deeply ingrained bias against female offspring, deeming them a financial liability.  Despite diligently following the prescribed instructions, the woman gave birth to a healthy girl child in 2014, contrary to the family's expectations. 

Biological Basics - Let's Talk Chromosomes

In the year 2024, it's perplexing to witness a woman being handed a note containing explicit instructions on how to conceive a 'good boy child' rather than a girl. As we delve into the basics of biology, a high school refresher is in order. The sex of a baby is determined by the chromosomes carried by the sperm and the egg at the moment of fertilization. An XX combination produces a female, while an XY combination yields a male. Contrary to archaic beliefs, it's the sperm, not the egg, that dictates the gender.

So, why, in this day and age, are women still receiving directives on how to conceive a male child? Scientifically speaking, there's no way to manipulate the gender during conception. It's a chance occurrence, dependent on which sperm reaches the egg first. The onus of gender determination lies solely with the sperm, making the notion of instructing the wife on conceiving a 'good boy' scientifically baseless. 

Echoes of the Past, Resonance in the Present

Why, even in 2024, does India grapple with an unrelenting obsession for 'good boys' and view daughters as financial burdens? With statistics echoing the reality of this obsession, the NFHS-5 survey, spanning 2019 to 2021, reveals that nearly 80% of respondents expressed a desire for at least one son. 

Despite strides in gender equality, the shadows of tradition loom large, dictating familial aspirations and societal norms. The obsession with 'good boys' stems from a lineage-centric worldview, where daughters are deemed 'paraya dhan,' destined to depart and forge new alliances

Venturing beyond the cold grasp of statistics, the stories of real women come to life, revealing the unforgiving societal pressure on families to produce male heirs, often leading to the mistreatment of daughters.

The roots of this bias run deep, intertwining with the very fabric of our cultural heritage. From ancient epics to modern-day realities, the preference for male heirs echoes through the corridors of time. The blessings of a hundred sons, bestowed upon queens of yore, find their modern-day counterparts in the whispered prayers of hopeful parents, yearning for a male child to carry forth the family name.  Despite societal evolution, this preference lingers, with families continuing to view sons as the ultimate providers, responsible for sustaining the family lineage, which limits not only the aspirations of young girls but also hinders societal progress.

Continuing Cruelties and Legal Battles

Amidst this backdrop of entrenched patriarchy, legal avenues offer a glimmer of hope. The Pre-Conception and Pre-Natal Diagnostic Techniques Act stand as a bastion against gender-based discrimination, yet its efficacy remains tethered to enforcement and awareness.  

Disturbingly, the alleged mistreatment of the petitioner did not cease with the birth of the girl child. She disclosed that various litigations unfolded in the Family Court, some reaching resolution while others lingered in the legal domain. The plea contends that the actions of the husband and his family stand in violation of the Pre-Conception and Pre-Natal Diagnostic Techniques (PC & PNDT) Act, 1994. 

Section 22 of the PC & PNDT Act expressly prohibits advertisements related to prenatal sex determination, categorizing such actions as punishable offenses. The petitioner, dissatisfied with the authorities' response, asserts that she has duly approached the Director of the Pre-Natal Diagnostic Division and the Additional Director (Family Welfare) with pleas for investigation and stringent action against her husband and his family. Regrettably, her grievances remain unaddressed, raising concerns about the effectiveness of the legal apparatus in dealing with gender-based pre-conception practices.

Despite the seriousness of the matter, the High Court, while expressing shock at the revelations, has granted time to the respondents to gather instructions on the case. The court has cautiously noted that it may not be the ideal forum for addressing the grievances.

A Race No Woman Wants to Run

Daughters have repeatedly proven that their capabilities extend far beyond the narrow confines dictated by societal biases. Multiple studies affirm that women navigate challenging situations with grace, make sound decisions under stress, and showcase emotional stability in both the professional and personal spaces, sometimes taking on the responsibilities of their aged parents, who were abandoned by their beloved sons.

Yet, in the relentless pursuit of equality, the question looms: why must women continuously strive to prove their worth? The race for acknowledgement should not be a burdensome marathon against men but a collective march toward a society where all genders are revered equally.

The birth of a girl child should not be steeped in shame but celebrated with unbridled joy and pride. A girl child is not a liability but a human being deserving of happiness, rights, and respect from her family and society. Women are not running a race to outshine men but are striving for a society where gender is a celebration, not a burden.

Views expressed by the author are their own