Groom Calls Off Wedding Over Missing Mutton Dish: Entitlement Much?

A wedding in Telangana was called off by the groom's family because the bride's family did not include mutton bone marrow as part of the non-vegetarian menu decided by the bride's family. The bride was from Nizamabad while the groom was from Jagtiyal. 

The bride and groom got engaged at the bride's residence but the wedding was called off. A fight erupted after the engagement ceremony when the bride's family did not serve the mutton's bone marrow as a part of the menu. The fight escalated to a level that the police had to intervene. 

The police tried to resolve the fight by asking the groom's family to calm down. However, the family considered the absence of mutton bone marrow on the menu as an insult and did not want to back down. Ultimately, the wedding was called off. 

What does the incident tell us

The incident tells us that even today groom and his family have an upper hand in weddings. Just because the groom is a man, his family feels entitled to make demands from the bride's family. This is the reason why even today grooms do not shy away from demanding exorbitant dowry. They consider it as their right to be born as a gender that enjoys privilege over others.

The fact that the groom's family considered the absence of the mutton bone marrow as an insult shows how fragile is their ego. How can someone be so upset over the absence of a particular dish on the menu that they call off the wedding? Is the importance of a bride limited to the demands that the groom's families make? Is the bride and her family's only responsibility to meet with demands of the groom? Don't they have any say or wish or desire in how they want to conduct the wedding?  

Why brides and their families should take a stand

It is just not fair for the grooms and their families to objectify brides and their families as their wish-fulfilling means. Brides and their families are as important as the grooms and their families. Brides' families need to stop forcing themselves and the brides to fulfil the demands of the grooms and their families. If the groom and his family can fight over the menu at the wedding, it will not be shocking when they reject the bride for not behaving the way they want. It is such families only that force women to quit jobs, have babies and surrender themselves to abuse (mental or physical) post-marriage.

It is better that brides take a stand and reject such grooms who consider dominance as their birthright. Marriage is a union of two people and not a medium to exercise power and dominate over others.

Views expressed are the author's own.