Is Asking Your Wife To Do Housework Cruelty? Delhi HC Weighs In

The Delhi High Court, in a recent ruling, said that it is not cruelty if a husband asks his wife to perform household chores. Saying this, the court granted divorce to a man who challenged a family court's order to refuse to grant him a divorce. The man had alleged cruelty at the hands of his wife because she refused to be involved in household chores, left her matrimonial house, and implicated him in false criminal cases. 

A division bench of Justice Suresh Kumar Kait and Justice Neena Bansal Krishna said that a wife performing household chores cannot be equated with the work of a housekeeper. The judges said that performing household chores is a wife's love and affection for the family.

Sharing of responsibilities in marriage 

The court emphasised that marriage involves sharing responsibilities for the future, but it also said that the husband asking the wife to perform household chores is not cruelty. 

"In certain strata, the  husband takes over the financial obligations and the wife accepts household responsibility. Such is the present case. Even if the appellant expected the respondent to do household chores, it cannot be termed cruelty," the court said. 

The man, a CISF member, also claimed that the wife insisted on living separately from his family members. He gave in to her demands and bought a new place to save his marriage. However, the wife allegedly insisted on living with her parents. 

Wife asking husband to live away from his parents is cruelty: Delhi HC

However, the court said that the wife's asking her husband to live away from his family amounts to cruelty. Justice Kait said that a son has a moral and legal responsibility to take care of his ageing parents with no source of income. He added that in Hindu culture, it is not "desirable" for a son to stay away from his parents. 

The court emphasised that the husband did try to maintain the marriage by arranging separate accommodations for him and his wife. But it also said that the wife wanted to live with her parents under one pretext or another. 

"On one hand, the respondent denied living with her in-laws, and over it, she chose to frequently live with her parents. To nurture the matrimonial bond, it is of high significance that parties live together and avoid leaving each other's company frequently. Temporary separation gives a sense of insecurity in the mind of a spouse that the other is not willing to continue the matrimonial bond," the court observed.

The court further added, "The appellant, on the other hand, by arranging separate accommodation, tried his best to keep her happy, However, by choosing to stay with her parents, she has not only ignored her matrimonial obligations but also deprived the appellant of his fatherhood by keeping him away from his son." 

The judges also recognised that filing criminal complaints with grave allegations that have no corroboration amounts to cruelty. 

Saying this, the court granted the man divorce under Section 13(1)(ia) of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955.

Are we really practicing equal sharing of responsibilities? 

While the court is right about sharing responsibilities within marriage, It is not fair to assign these responsibilities based on gender. There should be no hard-and-fast rule about who takes up the home duties and who looks after the financial needs of the family. A woman, too, can go out and earn for the family. A woman working hard in the office and bringing in a salary to meet the ends is also a way to show her love and affection for the family. Unlike the societal belief, women who work even after marriage are not being selfish by following their passion and forgetting their duties. Toiling in the kitchen and mesmerising the members of the family with the aroma of finely cooked meals is not a woman's duty alone. 

What if a woman alleged that her husband is being cruel by not taking up the household duties? Would society ever accept this allegation as rational? 

Even if we go by what the court says, "the husband takes over the financial obligations and the wife accepts household responsibility,"  is this sharing of responsibilities equal? 

Homemakers work twice as much as salaried employees. They have no fixed work hours, sick leaves, or weekends off. They aren't even paid for their intensive labour. In fact, in most cases, all that the "man of the house" does is bring the money home. The budget, financial planning, and savings are all looked after by the woman who stays at home. 

So how is this an equal division of responsibilities in marriage? Why should a woman alone make the sacrifices—be it giving up her job, self-respect, or her right to stay with her parents? 

If housework cannot be paid, then at least its load should be shared by every member of the family. Just because a woman decided to stay at home doesn't mean she has to clean the dirty socks of her husband. Everyone should do the basic household chores required to sustain an independent human. 

Views expressed are the author's own.