Chennai: Days After Toddler's Rescue, Mom Dies By Suicide Due To Backlash

A mother allegedly dies by suicide days after receiving backlash for her neglect of her toddler, who was discovered perilously stuck at the edge of a tin roof in an apartment complex in Chennai on April 28.Fortunately, swift action by neighbours led to the child's rescue, an event captured on video that quickly spread across social media platforms. However, instead of receiving support, Ramya faced a wave of criticism and condemnation. Overwhelmed by the continuous public shaming, Ramya, reportedly reached her breaking point and took her own life at her parents' residence in Coimbatore.

According to sources, Ramya was employed at an IT firm in Chennai, and her husband was also a professional in the same field. The couple had visited Ramya's parents, but on a Sunday, while her parents were at a ceremony, Ramya allegedly attempted suicide. Upon their return, Ramya's parents found her unconscious and immediately rushed her to the hospital. Despite efforts to revive her, Ramya could not be saved

How Ramya's emotional distress was exacerbated

The video capturing the dramatic rescue of a toddler quickly gained traction on social media platforms, sparking a wave of criticism directed at Ramya, the child's mother. Many users condemned her, labelling her as careless. The continuous onslaught of negative comments and trolling inflicted severe  emotional anguish upon Ramya, tragically leading to her untimely demise. Despite the harsh judgement from online spectators, eyewitnesses present during the rescue, including residents of the Chennai apartment complex and passersby, have come forward to defend Ramya. These witnesses condemn the insensitive remarks circulating on social media, highlighting their detrimental impact on Ramya's grieving process and refute the notion of her being a careless mother, attributing the incident to a tragic accident rather than any deliberate negligence on her part.

In response to the circumstances surrounding Ramya's death, authorities from the Karamadai police have initiated an investigation. 

What does the incident tell us?

The incident once again shows how society places the responsibility for a child on the mother. It's a narrative all too familiar: when something unfortunate occurs involving a child, the finger of blame invariably points towards the mother. The father, on the other hand, often escapes scrutiny for any perceived lapses in caregiving or awareness, only receiving acknowledgment when the child achieves something noteworthy.

When two people are involved in giving birth to a child, why should only one person be responsible for the child's welfare? Why should the duty of taking care of the child always fall on the mother? Even if it does, is it fair to criticise her for being a bad mother? 

No one is born a parent and learns the complexities over time. Of course, mistakes like the one described above are dangerous. However, condemning the mother for being irresponsible or being a lousy mother is not appropriate. No mother would willingly put her child at risk. Ramya was far more shocked and distressed by the incident than anyone else. Nonetheless, she had to endure all of the scathing criticism and trolling. 

Parenting is teamwork. Stop making it a gendered duty. 

Views expressed are the author's own.