'It’s Not You, It’s Menopause!’: Sudha Murty's Confession To Husband

In a never-seen-before conversation, renowned author and philanthropist Sudha Murty joined host Shaili Chopra for The Rule Breaker Show to discuss menopause and the wisdom she gained from her father, a gynaecologist. 

Watch: Sudha Murty Shatters Stigma Around Menopause

Murty's refreshing perspective on women's health, particularly menopause, was shaped early in life through open discussions with her father. She reflected on her father’s guidance, sharing, "From the beginning, when I had my puberty, my dad said, 'Now your hormones are high, so your skin glows. You look in the mirror many times. A day will come, the hormones will be withdrawn, and menopause comes.' He prepared us for menopause and told us it’s not a disease, but rather the withdrawal of hormones." 

Murty acknowledged how her father’s knowledge helped her navigate her own experience, noting, "When I get my menopause, I’m going to work hard, and I know why it is happening to me. He gave me a very good understanding that when hormones start retreating, it’s just nature’s way of changing things." This awareness, Murty emphasised, helped her avoid the fear and confusion that many women experience during menopause.

'It’s Not You, It’s Menopause!’

Despite her awareness, Murty admitted that it wasn't always easy to manage the emotional changes menopause brought. "Suddenly one day I remembered my children and cried. And I told myself, Why did I cry when they left for the U.S. to study, and now I’m crying? I realised it was menopause," she revealed.

To prepare her family, Murty spoke openly with her husband, Narayan Murthy, telling him, "In case I’m upset for something without reason, think it's a hormone retreat and laugh over it; don’t take it seriously."

Her approach to menopause also included her belief in staying active, both physically and mentally, to manage its effects. "I should walk more, exercise more, and accept that my skin will wrinkle. Sometimes, there will be butterflies in my stomach, but I knew about it very well," she explained. 

In the broader societal context, she acknowledged that talking about periods or menopause was still taboo for many, but not in her family. "My dad was very forward-thinking. He talked to us about menstruation and periods. He would always say it’s part of your hormone balancing; nothing impure about it," she recalled, adding that her father’s influence extended to her mother, who also began to embrace these conversations. 

Murty urged today’s generation to seek knowledge and be aware of the resources available. She said, "I request all the sisters of today’s era, in many hospitals, I have told them, please open a menopause counselling cell. And there are many books available. It won’t remove your suffering 100%, but it will make you aware."