Feel Unheard? The Silent Struggle Of Perimenopause

Hi, I’m Sarah Tandon, and I want to talk about something that’s been weighing on me for a while—perimenopause. It’s not just the hot flashes, the mood swings, or the sleepless nights that make this phase of life challenging. The biggest issue, at least for me, is feeling unheard.

How it all began for me…

When I first started experiencing symptoms, I didn’t even know it was perimenopause. I was in my early 40s, still feeling relatively young and healthy. But then, out of nowhere, my body began to change. I noticed I was more irritable, my periods became irregular, and I was waking up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. It was unsettling, to say the least.

I did what anyone would do—I talked to my doctor. But instead of feeling reassured, I felt dismissed. My symptoms were brushed off as “just stress” or “part of getting older.” No one mentioned perimenopause, and I was left wondering if I was just imagining things. It wasn’t until I did my own research that I realized what was happening. But why did I have to figure it out on my own?

The Struggle to Be Heard

What I’ve found, talking to other women in similar situations is that my experience is not unique. So many of us feel unheard during perimenopause. That’s when I joined Gytree’s menopause club. 

We’re told that what we’re going through is just part of life, or that we’re overreacting. It’s like our voices are drowned out by the noise of everyday life, and our concerns are minimised because, well, “everyone goes through it.”

But here’s the thing—just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s easy. Perimenopause is a significant transition, both physically and emotionally. It can affect our relationships, our work, and our self-esteem. And yet, the lack of understanding and support can make it feel like we’re going through it alone.

The Emotional Toll

One of the hardest parts of feeling unheard is the emotional toll it takes. It’s isolating. You start to doubt yourself, wondering if maybe you’re just being dramatic. But deep down, you know something isn’t right. The frustration of not being taken seriously can lead to feelings of anger, sadness, and even depression.

For me, it’s the little things that hurt the most—like when I try to explain how exhausted I am, and I’m met with a dismissive “everyone’s tired” response. Or when I mention my anxiety and someone suggests I just “try to relax.” It’s as if my experience is being trivialized, and that only adds to the stress I’m already feeling.

The Need for Change

What we need is to be heard. To have our experiences validated and our concerns addressed. We need doctors who listen, who understand that perimenopause is not just a phase to be endured but a significant life transition that requires care and support. We need workplaces that recognise the impact of perimenopause and provide flexibility when we’re struggling with symptoms.

Most importantly, we need to talk about perimenopause openly. The more we share our stories, the less alone we’ll feel. When we speak up, we permit other women to do the same. At the first catch-up of the Gytree Menopause Club, I had a chance to speak up. 

And maybe, just maybe, we’ll start to change the narrative around this often-overlooked stage of life.

My Message to Other Women

If you’re going through perimenopause and feel unheard, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Your experience is real, and your voice matters. Keep advocating for yourself, whether it’s with your doctor, your family, or your workplace. Seek out communities of women who understand what you’re going through, and don’t be afraid to share your story.

Perimenopause is challenging enough without the added burden of feeling invisible. It’s time for us to demand the attention and care we deserve. Let’s break the silence and make sure our voices are heard—loud and clear.

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