Misunderstood And Misdiagnosed: When Menopause Is Mistaken for Depression

My name is Neeru Mathani, and I live in Mumbai. I’m 53 years old, and for the past few years, I’ve been on a journey that’s been confusing, frustrating, and often lonely. I’m talking about menopause—a life stage that’s brought about changes I never anticipated, and sadly, a misunderstanding that’s put a strain on my marriage.

When My Husband Thought I Was Depressed

It all started with small changes—sleepless nights, sudden bursts of anger, and a deep sense of fatigue that I just couldn’t shake. I began to feel like a stranger in my own body. I noticed that I was more emotional than usual, easily brought to tears by things that wouldn’t have bothered me before. My moods were unpredictable, and I often found myself feeling anxious or overwhelmed for no apparent reason.

My husband, always caring and attentive, noticed these changes too. But instead of understanding that I was going through menopause, he thought I was depressed. He started suggesting that I see a doctor, maybe even consider therapy or medication. He was worried about me, and while I appreciated his concern, it also made me feel misunderstood. I wasn’t depressed—I was menopausal. But how could I make him see the difference?

Menopause Mistaken for Depression

Menopause is not something that’s talked about openly, especially in a society like ours where these topics are often brushed under the rug. As women, we’re expected to quietly endure these changes, to carry on as if nothing is wrong. But something is wrong, and it’s more than just a phase—it’s a profound shift that affects every aspect of our lives.

My husband’s confusion is understandable. Menopause can mimic the symptoms of depression—mood swings, fatigue, changes in sleep patterns, and a general sense of unease. But the difference is that these symptoms are caused by hormonal changes, not a mental health condition. I tried explaining this to him, but it was hard to put into words what I was experiencing. It’s difficult enough to understand it myself, let alone explain it to someone else.

The Loneliness of Menopause

One of the hardest parts of this journey has been the loneliness. I’ve realized how much I miss having a community, a sisterhood of women who understand what I’m going through. In earlier years, I had friends and relatives I could talk to about anything. But as we’ve all gotten older, those connections have faded, and I find myself facing this challenge without the support I once took for granted.

In Mumbai, where life is fast-paced and everyone is busy with their own problems, it’s easy to feel isolated. I long for the days when women gathered to share their stories, their struggles, and their wisdom. I miss having that sense of belonging, of knowing that I’m not alone in this. It’s something I think many women my age crave—a community where we can talk openly about menopause, without shame or embarrassment.

The Need for Understanding and Support

What I’ve come to realize is that what I need most right now is understanding. I need my husband to know that what I’m going through is real, that it’s not something I can just “snap out of” or fix with a pill. I need him to understand that menopause is a natural part of ageing, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It’s a time of significant change, and I need support, not solutions.

But more than that, I need a community. I need to connect with other women who are going through the same thing, to share our experiences and support each other. I need a sisterhood that understands the challenges of menopause, one that can offer advice, comfort, and a listening ear.

Finding My Voice

Writing this has been a step towards finding my voice, towards acknowledging that what I’m going through is valid and important. I want to encourage other women who might be feeling the same way to speak up, to reach out, and to seek the support they need. Menopause is not something we should have to endure in silence.

If you’re reading this and recognizing yourself in my story, know that you’re not alone. Whether it’s your husband, your friends, or your doctor—don’t be afraid to talk about what you’re going through. And if you’re like me, longing for a community, start by connecting with the women around you. We all have wisdom to share, and together, we can navigate this challenging time with grace and strength.

Menopause is a part of life, but it doesn’t have to be endured alone. Let’s build the sisterhood we need, right here, right now.