Why Every Woman Needs To Adopt A Roster Dating Strategy?

Do you remember Lajjo from Heeramandi? Her unwavering love, deep commitment, and loyalty towards Nawab Zoravar (played by Adhyayan Suman) ultimately lead to heartbreak and her tragic demise. Richa Chadda’s portrayal of Lajwanti’s emotions in Heeramandi is nothing short of brilliance. But imagine if roster dating existed in her world—would we still witness her struggle and being emotionally vulnerable, or maybe she would have found someone who truly cherished and loved her as an individual?

Roster dating isn't just about meeting different people while being single. It’s a process of self-exploration, broadening horizons, and building confidence within relationships. Growing up as an Indian woman, many of us were taught not to engage in conversations with the opposite gender. As a result, many women lack experience in understanding love and relationships. 

The ideal trajectory for a sanskari girl is simple: marry an 'ideal' boy, build a family, and fulfil her roles as a good wife, daughter-in-law, and mother. The expectations are clear—parents want a son-in-law with a stable income, in-laws desire a bahu who excels in domestic duties, and husbands expect a multi-tasking wife.

But the question remains: what does a woman truly desire? Is immersing herself in a committed relationship the key to happiness?

Roster dating is not about expanding one’s sexual experiences or having multiple partners at once. It’s about allowing yourself to explore different relationships before settling into one. By meeting people from various walks of life, you broaden your emotional and social perspectives, build self-confidence, and grow in emotional maturity. This journey empowers you to recognise your preferences, and better equips you to pursue the kind of relationships that align with your true values.

As women, we are often more emotionally attached and empathetic by nature. Instead of diving headfirst into a relationship, becoming overly invested too soon, and risking emotional harm, roster dating helps frame this journey as one of self-discovery. It enables us to develop relationships from a place of emotional strength, with a stable and mature outlook. The lack of immediate commitment allows for careful evaluation—looking at compatibility, shared values, and aspirations—which fosters a more confident and thoughtful approach to love.

Boundaries Of Love

In traditional narratives, we often see love stories where the boy meets the girl, they like each other and eventually, marry. These love stories, which dominated 90s Bollywood hit films, portrayed marriage as the ultimate happy ending for a love story. But are we truly prepared to commit without a clear understanding of our values and goals? How many red flags would we ignore before realising that we are incompatible for each other?

Roster dating isn’t for those who prefer to focus on just one relationship at a time. Instead, it’s about cultivating transparent, healthy relationships that respect personal boundaries, ensuring that both individuals grow and evolve in a way that honours their individuality and shared connection.

Views expressed by the author are their own