The Journey Of LGBTQ+ Adoption Rights And Parenthood In India

This year marked a watershed moment in India's fight for equality, with the Supreme Court's recent hearing on marriage equality shining a light on the rights of queer persons and couples to adopt children. I find tremendous hope and courage in this breakthrough, because it not only holds the possibility of widening channels of compassion and care for children in need, but it also confronts the deeply ingrained social stigmas that have long plagued our society. It's critical that we reflect on the progress we've made towards equality and diversity, particularly in the context of LGBTQ+ adoption rights. 

The importance of providing queer individuals and couples adoption rights cannot be emphasized. It is about recognising the underlying humanity, love, and compassion that exists throughout the LGBTQ+ community, which extends beyond simply giving a loving home for a child. 

Notion Of A Normal Family Cannot Be Dominated By Society

For far too long, societal norms have narrowed the notion of a 'normal' family, excluding numerous talented and nurturing individuals solely on the basis of their sexual orientation or gender identity. This exclusive worldview not only denies children the opportunity to grow up in a loving home, but it also spreads negative misconceptions about queer people.

One of the most striking features of the recent Supreme Court hearing was the recognition that this issue is ultimately about the legal rights and dignity of queer people. The right to adopt is about more than just adding a child to one's family; it is about confirming queer people's identity and worth. It is about stating unambiguously that their love is just as valid, their families are just as real, and their contributions to society are just as important as anyone else's. But as a transgender woman, I feel the path is not easy and clear for me.

While growing up I was always fascinated by the idea of being a mother. If I remember my childhood; I always used to play the role of the mother whenever we played ‘ghar ghar’ during the rainy season. When my work evolved in the queer space it was such a beautiful journey of how I started experiencing motherhood. Especially when some of my community members started calling me Maa/Momma etc and I started calling them Beta/Beti or Baccha. 

Within my chosen family it was wonderful to experience motherhood. I remember how I felt when one of my Beta calls me Maa and I know the exact feeling which cannot be described in words. When my chosen family surprised me on Mother's Day and handed me a cake with the words "Happy Mother's Day," it was a time when everything came together and I realised how lovely family bonds are. In jest, I say, "I'm 29 and I have kids who are older than 18, and this is funny." 

In my last workplace, I used to tell my female coworkers—most of whom were mothers—during tea parties that if they gave me one of their kids, I'd prove I was the best mother ever. Ever since I don’t really remember when I started to think of adopting a child. And very often I wonder about what parenting would look like and every time I wonder about it I just start to smile. But the smile does not stay for long as I know the path is way long and I don’t know how I will cross this path. 

The path of a complex legal framework for transgender people to adopt. What keeps us from moving past the emotional, psychological, and non-biological aspects of motherhood when discussing transgender individuals? Why do I need to worry about the complex legal framework when it comes to adoption just because I am a transgender person? 

I hope we as a society will start to look at motherhood beyond binary and beyond biology and will really look at it as parenting where we get our right to build our family. What does one need to raise a family? Just love and care. 

Authored by Rituparna Neog, Nguvu Change Leader, a leading queer rights activist and an Associate Vice Chairperson of the State Transgender Welfare Board, Assam. 

Views expressed are the author's own.