Why Mental Load On Sandwich Generation Women Cannot Be Ignored

Historically, women have been recognised as caregivers, selflessly raising children and caring for ageing parents and in-laws, while finding a perfect balance that keeps the family harmonious and thriving. This 'sandwich generation' of women has a lot on their plate (pun intended). From being the backbone of their family's needs and aspirations to seeking a moment for their personal growth, they juggle numerous roles simultaneously, often putting their well-being on the back burner. It’s a demanding act performed daily with humility and resilience, yet little to no gratification.  

The world has been hoisting the pretentious flag of gender equality and inclusivity for the past few years. Of course, women are now 'allowed' to go out and earn money for themselves but how much of this progress has truly liberated them? Is a simple go-ahead the only way to foster true freedom?

Woes Of The Modern Sandwich Generation

The unrealistic expectations of women have not diminished in today's world; in fact, they have grown more complex as they have stepped into the workforce. Women today are expected to excel in their careers and set examples for future generations while also maintaining a nurturing home environment.

"The sandwich generation of today, especially its women, faces unique and intensified challenges compared to previous generations," said Sona Mitra, Director of Policy and Research at the Institute for What Works to Advance Gender Equality (IWWAGE), in an interview with SheThePeople.

She explained, "Despite being part of the upwardly mobile upper- and middle-class households, women of this sandwich generation are disproportionately affected by the burdens of unpaid domestic and care work and often feel the need to put a break on their careers to look after their kids and the elderly." For women, pausing their career not only impacts their professional development but also creates hurdles when reentering the workforce due to prevailing gender biases and experience gaps.

This dilemma of either multitasking or choosing between career and family often adds immense pressure on the physical and mental well-being of women. "These pressures are even more profound in single mothers," Mitra noted, calling for a reevaluation of systemic norms to better support women.

Finding An Equilibrium

Managing their numerous roles at home, work, and elsewhere is a dynamic challenge that many women navigate with resilience and resourcefulness. This often involves finetuning-- learning and unlearning certain habits-- to find a momentum that does not sacrifice their welfare.

Sonika Bakshi, a communications professional, narrated how she makes time for herself amid a mounting load of commitments. "Balancing 'me time' with all my responsibilities is a challenge, and I am still figuring it out. It is a lot of hard work, and some days are better than others. I am trying to prioritise myself a little each day, but it's difficult to ask for help when I need it," she expressed.

She described how she is gradually finding her footing. "My company offers flexible hours and remote work options, which is very helpful. While balancing work and looking after my teenage daughter, parents, and the house, the finances can get daunting. I am still trying to find 'me time' in the middle of it all."

Meghna Bijlani, a 46-year-old HR professional, shared that the journey has been about embracing the experiences as opportunities. "While some days are challenging, I am a sum of all my experiences, and I believe that being part of this generation has significantly shaped me in some positive ways."

She detailed what being in the sandwich generation has taught her. "This experience has taught me exceptional time management and multitasking skills. It has strengthened my resilience and problem-solving abilities, as I constantly need to find creative solutions to balance conflicting demands."

Bakshi and Bijlani recalled their younger days, witnessing their mothers struggle to find support. "I have witnessed the way my mother put her heart and soul into caring for her loved ones. For me, that has become a benchmark," Bijlani reflected. "On the other hand, I have also witnessed the irritations and the frustrations that she felt but didn’t have an outlet for them. I am trying to ensure that I don't fall into the same trap."

For Bakshi, seeing her mother's experiences has pushed her to advocate for better workplace policies. "Seeing my mother balancing work, caregiving, and family life made me realise that the issue isn't just about individual resilience; it is about the structures in place that either support or hinder caregivers."

What Needs To Change?

While encouraging women to pursue their goals and passions is a big leap from traditional gender roles, the shift in societal attitudes must go further. This means that the multifaceted roles of women cannot be treated in a business-as-usual way, but require more meticulous and structural support systems.

Sona Mitra described how this change must not just be brought in domestic settings but also at a corporate or administrative level. "Care work needs to be transformed and equally distributed among men and women. Beyond the household, it is primarily the state that can initiate this awareness," she said.

She continued, "The state can encourage, facilitate, and incentivise workplaces to create supportive work environments with flexible work options, on-site childcare facilities, support for outsourced caregiving at home, comprehensive accidental and insurance policy coverage for employees and their immediate families, comprehensive parental leave policies for men and women, eldercare assistance programmers, returnship policies for women taking career breaks for maternity and caregiving responsibilities, etc."

Mitra also emphasised how the government must proactively back gender equality initiatives and also attract more investments in the private sector for after-school programs, subsidised childcare, eldercare services, etc. Supporting women is not only for their wellness but also helps in the growth of the nation.

True liberation for the sandwich generation of women can only be achieved when society fully acknowledges their contributions and provides the necessary support to help them thrive. This requires a system that does not pressure women into navigating their journeys but rather fosters a collaborative effort.