Do Women Hold Other Women Back In Workplace? Dr Shamoly Khera Explains In New Book

In today's world, as we celebrate women breaking barriers in every field and call this a transitional generation, is everything truly reformed? Perhaps not entirely, but many women are leading the way, opening the door for others to surpass societal expectations. Dr Shamoly Khera— an author, TV Presenter, TEDx speaker, and one of the Times' 'Most influential personalities’ of 2021— sheds light on women's ongoing struggles and how they can choose to rise above them. 

In her latest book ‘Letters to Daughters of Tomorrow,’ Dr Khera delves into deep-rooted conditioning, stereotypes, and self-imposed challenges women have endured across generations, offering guidance on how one can break free. She emphasised the need for more women leaders across the board stating, "An entire generation of women is waiting to be inspired by the best in every field."

In an exclusive interview with SheThePeopleTV, Dr Khera calls for today's women to take action and set an example for the next generation. “I truly believe that if we empower the women of today, we are setting fabulous role models for our daughters of tomorrow.” 

Talent is gender-neutral and so is success: Dr Khera

While women have made remarkable progress from being subservient and mute spectators to their strength, there is still much to be done. Addressing how she envisioned equality, Dr Khera elaborates, "Talent is gender-neutral and so is success”. For her, equality means easy availability of equal opportunity for every woman, just as a man has been receiving for centuries as his birthright. She envisions a future "where a woman will no longer be asked if she plans to continue working after marriage or having a baby. May we be free from the blinding stereotypes and witness women thriving at their fullest potential.” 

Are women genetically better leaders?

Dr Khera begins her book with a thought-provoking question: Are women genetically better leaders? Whether in science, arts or politics, women excel across the fields and yet struggle to surpass gendered stereotypes -  masculine traits are required for effective leadership. On the significance of such traits, Dr Khera remarked, “It is certainly not important to have any masculine traits to be a good leader; on the contrary empathy is a highly aspirational quality in a leader which women are naturally adept at.”

Through her book, she aims to dispel the misconception that women need to ‘wear the pants’ or ‘be masculine’ to be seen as effective leaders.

‘Queen Bee Syndrome’ and Sisterhood 

A captivating chapter in Dr Khera's book delves into the concept of 'Queen Bee Syndrome' — a phenomenon where women in positions of power treat their female subordinates worse than their male counterparts, driven by a sense of competition. She states, "I feel the underlying insecurity of such a woman leader arises from the possibility that there might be fewer women at the top in that organisation, and helping another woman colleague or subordinate can make her own position of seniority feel threatened." 

Addressing the disparity in how men and women support each other, she highlights the absence of a strong sisterhood, comparing it to the familiar 'bro-code'. Shamoly notes, "That’s a lesson we must borrow from the men’s book. If girls find a way to support each other, we have higher chances of successful women climbing up the ladder and setting positive examples for the aspiring women of tomorrow." 

Grateful for Equality: A Hard-Earned Milestone 

In another thought-provoking section, Shamoly reflects on why women often feel grateful for being treated equally, as though it were a special privilege rather than a fundamental right. Sharing her observations she said, "It has taken decades for people to realise the value women can bring to home decisions as well as the workplace – so yes, I, just like most women, do feel grateful for the equal opportunities that are crawling towards us. It’s the collective work of a lot of courageous women in the past that has brought us here today." 

However, Shamoly did not forget to acknowledge the role men are playing by accepting the change. “I feel we don’t give men enough credit for adapting to the changing face of womanhood that they have witnessed in the past few decades. We just have to remind them of the fact that our fight is not against them, but against the societal restrictions for a woman having authority over her own life.” 

‘Plan Marriage, Not Just A Wedding’ 

In another intriguing chapter titled Plan Marriage, Not Just A Wedding, Shamoly discussed how a marriage is different from a wedding. Talking about the same concept she explains, “A wedding is a great celebration of bringing two young lives together, a marriage needs more work – real work. Real conversations with the partner about family expectations must be encouraged - how are they going to split household duties and bills? How do they envision themselves as a family? Do they want kids? Do they prefer staying nuclear or with parents? These are hard conversations that need to take place before one gets winded up in the wedding details. “

Emphasise Monetary Freedom And Self-Dependency 

Traditionally, building careers has often been seen as an option for women and a necessity for men, but this conception needs to change. “If girls are brought up with similar upbringing, where their financial independence is considered a milestone and not their marriage, it will certainly create a profound desire in them to prioritise financial independence over finding the perfect matrimonial match.” 

The book also urges women to envision their future beyond marriage, encouraging them to protect their dreams at all costs. The positive part is that women now recognise what holds them back and can reprogram themselves to take more risks, whether it's raising their voice in household discussions or walking ahead on the corporate ladder.