Through Her Own Story, Harjeet Kaur Fights Cancer Stigma In South Asian Society

Life often unfolds in unpredictable ways, testing the limits of our resilience and fortitude. For Harjeet Kaur, the dream of a new beginning in Canada swiftly transformed into a tumultuous journey when the unexpected struck. In 2019, amidst aspirations of building a family and pursuing career aspirations, she was confronted with a series of unexplained high fevers that lasted weeks. What followed was a journey of uncertainty, anguish, and ultimately, triumph, as she navigated the terrain of a rare and aggressive form of blood cancer. 

Speaking to SheThePeople, Harjeet Kaur looked back at her battle with a rare form of blood cancer, and her unwavering determination that propelled her through the darkest of days of treatment and experiences thereafter.  Today, she is an advocate for spreading awareness about the support of cancer patients and their families, using her story to break the stigma surrounding cancer in the South Asian community where it is often not addressed or talked about like it should. 

Harjeet Kaur's Story

In May 2019, about a year after a hopeful Harjeet Kaur moved to Canada, she started dealing with high fevers ranging from 39°C to 41°C that persisted despite multiple visits to the emergency room. The only explanations she received were vague suggestions of viral infections or the flu, and she was advised to take Tylenol (paracetamol).

After over a month of getting no conclusive answer, Kaur was admitted to the hospital where she underwent multiple tests like bloodwork, MRIs, surgeries, biopsies, and scans. It took the medical team over three months to determine the diagnosis. Kaur, then 32 years old, had stage 4 Subcutaneous Panniculitis T-cell lymphoma, a rare blood cancer.

Kaur was told that her condition was further complicated by Hemophagocytic lymphohistiocytosis (HLH), a serious, systemic inflammatory syndrome. While she was initially contemplating a return to India, the doctors advised her to remain in Canada and immediately commence treatment, given the urgency of the situation.

“Upon hearing this news, my life came to a standstill - I was overwhelmed with shock and numbness,” Kaur expressed. “My mother and brother were by my side when the news was disclosed. Meanwhile, my husband had left to meet with our family doctor to organize my return to India. However, I called him to reveal the diagnosis, and the words ‘stage 4 cancer’ were too heavy to utter over the phone.”

Kaur started chemotherapy on August 28, 2019. ”The treatment was tough and painful, known as Red Devil chemotherapy for its aggressiveness,” she explained. “Throughout the entire journey, I was fortunate to have the support of my family and friends, a blessing not everyone receives during their diagnosis and treatment.”

After completing her six chemotherapy sessions, some cancer cells did not respond well. Moreover, during the treatment, she went through early menopause and also lost vision in her right eye, adding to her emotional challenges. That was when Kaur was suggested to undergo a stem cell transplant for a chance at a longer life. 

The Psychological Struggle

Harjeet Kaur emphasised the courage and support she received from her loved ones during this difficult time. “I didn't feel like discussing my illness as my family wasn't ready for it. However, my support system was amazing; they cooked for me, made sure I took my medicines and took me to the hospital, which was important for me.”

She kept telling herself to stay strong for her family, the reality of her condition weighed heavily on her. "I was in a place where talking about my diagnosis was hard because my whole life had changed suddenly. I just did what the doctors told me without talking much to my family, as cancer is seen as taboo in our community."

Kaur also expressed the pain she felt when she was told that she would not be able to conceive children anymore due to the treatment. “My dream of having a baby was gone when I was diagnosed with cancer… Knowing that I was thrown into menopause at the age of 32 and there was nothing I could do, really hit me hard. “

In 2020, as Kaur was getting ready for the stem cell transplant, the COVID-19 pandemic hit and she had to be isolated in the hospital for 35 days. “During those 35 days, all I prayed for was to live to see the next day, to be with my family again and hug them. It was that hope and inner strength that kept me going during those tough times.”

Recovery And Advocacy Efforts

Despite those immense physical and emotional challenges, Harjeet Kaur's determination remained unwavering. The stem cell transplant, with her brother as a perfect 100% match donor, was a critical step towards her recovery. “And now, here I am, marking four years of not just surviving but thriving every day,” she optimistically shared.

Kaur is now an advocate for the support of cancer patients and their loved ones. She started a cancer blog to share her experiences and offer optimism to those with a similar journey. Kaur also puts special emphasis on cancer awareness in the South Asian community, where people often struggle to open up about their experiences.

“As strong as the support was from my family, there was always a lack of communication about cancer. I joined a couple of communities and support groups across Canada. However, I slowly realised that there were not many people of my colour, my ethnicity, and I felt that it needed to be addressed. It needs to be talked about. And that's how my advocacy journey started.”

Kaur and her friend recently started a private group on Instagram and Facebook called ChaiAndHope, which is a community for South Asian cancer patients and their families. She also volunteers with many organizations like the Canadian Cancer Society and is a patient family advisory council member at a new cancer centre in Calgary, Alberta. 

“I've realized that people don't want to talk about cancer at all because they think that cancer is a dead end, or it's just the end of the road, especially in our South Asian community where it's a big taboo. I just wanted to give back to the community because I feel like no one has to go through this all alone,” Kaur shared.

Prioritising Health

Kaur opened up about how she realised the importance of prioritising her body and health after the experience. Emphasising women's reproductive health, she noted, "Menopause is not as easy as we think. At 32, I had so many side effects of perimenopause-- you get irritated, you get aggressive, hot flashes, night sweats, fatigue, sleepless nights, etc."

She continued, "It's important to talk about early menopause and perimenopause. So many health issues are occurring nowadays because of the global pandemic and not everyone is talking about it. So I think it's also very important to talk to your gynaecologist or specialist about the side effects and how you can treat them."

Kaur also shed light on how she continues to take care of her mental health even after recovery. While she held a 'strong' facade in front of her family, her doctor advised her to speak to a therapist in 2020, which she religiously continues to do even today. Kaur wants to destigmatise mental illness and promote therapy.

"I just enjoy the sessions with my therapist because I feel like he's listening to me and guiding me through my problems even post-treatment... I feel in our culture, where mental illness is a big taboo, we need to address this: If you are facing something, it's okay to talk to a therapist if not your family or friends. It is a safe space and there is no judgement."