Dear Society, while you carry an unending list of all that is sinful and disobedient for daughters to do (in your eyes), let me show you the mirror, and tell you what us women wish to escape; the society’s toxic grip on the the length of our skirt. You act exactly like that distant aunty/uncleji who shows face once in a blue moon just to dole out condescending comparisons, doubts your judgement, nitpicks your fault, and decides your ambition for you. Then they leave but the overwhelming burden stays intact. You want to keep your children in your grip because you want that power. Many of you found some perverse pleasure out of watching young women suffer to make it in one piece from bus stop to collage gate, your gaze fixed at her upper chest, where the tattoo of ‘carpe diem’ is rightfully placed. Ladies, it’s a hard truth: you are never good enough, never brilliant enough!
But you know that voice inside our head that almost entices us to feel guilty about your sexist remarks or judgement? Well, not anymore. Because women would rather rebel before they bend.
Here’s a list of sexist remarks women are done with, and since we are walking into a new year and a decade with 2020 just a few days away, it is the perfect time to get rid of them once and for all.
She is so fat. Who would hire her?
And there must be an enormous clot in your brain that clouds your judgement to make you believe that this remark is anything but non-sexist. She will get the job if she is worth it. Her size has nothing to do with her qualifications or capabilities, so why should it have anything to do with her employment?
She wears shorts, skirts, minis. It is distracting!
Take your toxic eyes off of her thigh-high skirt. She can wear what she want, and if her clothes "distract" you, the problem lies with your gaze my friend, not the length of her skirt.
Wearing shorts doesn't mean that she is trying to provoke/distract you. Wearing the clothes she likes and feels comfortable in, doing the makeup she prefers, eating whatever she wants, it is NEVER about YOU. So go find a corner on this huge planet where you can sit quietly and mind your own business.
She is dark. Not beautiful. Not my type
Your stereotypical gaze is irrelevant, especially to that lady who seems super comfortable in her own skin. She is beautiful the way she is and suggesting that fairness is the only thing you are attracted to or you find beautiful , only hints at your incapability to look beyond the colour of her skin. It doesn't matter if she is your type or not, because you clearly don't deserve her.
She is not 'sanskari'
She has a tattoo on her body, what kind of sanskar did her parents give her? Well, it is her body, so she has the agency to decide whether she wants a tattoo or not.
She is PMSing. It’s that time of the month
Not kidding. I once had a friend cringe at my face when I told him I was menstruating. It's 2020 guys. Stop acting like it's an untouchable disease. Grow the hell up!
Wow, she plays sports. I am impressed.
Mary Kom, Mithali Raj, Sania Mirza. Serena Williams? Ever heard of these names? C’mon man. Google it, give it a shot, once in a while.
Also Read: Ten Leadership Skills we can learn from Serena Williams
Oh no, she did not take his last name. Bad wife. And she will be a bad mother too.
Wait, what? How did you go from being a bad wife (for not taking his last name) to being a bad mother? What’s the connection? Give me some Aspirin. We are about to walk into 2020. Clearly a woman doesn't have to prove her loyalty and love to her partner by taking his last name.
Are you sure you don’t want kids? As a girl your body is meant to do it. It’s the nature.
Real, strong, passionate women shouldn’t scare strong, sensible and caring men. Real men don’t make women feel like they are not an easy person to be with.
Keep your ancient opinions locked inside the stereotypical institution you come from. Should a woman only have babies because her body is "meant" for it? should she embrace motherhood even if she isn't ready for it just to get rid of the immense social pressure she is under? It is high time we discussed these questions, instead of serving biology lessons on the plate of misogyny to women.
You talk a lot and undermine guys around you. Tumse kaun shaadi karega?
“Shaadi toh karni hi padegi,” so I must behave in a way which makes me appealing in the eyes of prospective grooms: Women don’t think like this anymore. Real, strong, passionate women shouldn’t scare strong, sensible and caring men. Real men don’t make women feel like they are not an easy person to be with.
She chugs beers? Not bad for a girl!
You should go Google the latest stat which says that Indian women are drinking more. And, hear this out for general knowledge: Women invented beers, so might as well drink it. Don't believe me, read it here.
All my beer-chugging sisterhood would like to inform you that we know our lager from our ale and we also buy our own drinks.
Also Read: ‘Da Da Ding’ and get sporty: Nike tells Indian women
Read More Stories By Ria Das
The views expressed are the author's own.
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Dear Society, I Love Sexist Advice: Said No Woman Ever!
Here’s a list of sexist remarks women are done with, and since we are walking into a new year and a decade with 2020 just a few days away, it is the perfect time to get rid of them once and for all.
Dear Society, while you carry an unending list of all that is sinful and disobedient for daughters to do (in your eyes), let me show you the mirror, and tell you what us women wish to escape; the society’s toxic grip on the the length of our skirt. You act exactly like that distant aunty/uncleji who shows face once in a blue moon just to dole out condescending comparisons, doubts your judgement, nitpicks your fault, and decides your ambition for you. Then they leave but the overwhelming burden stays intact. You want to keep your children in your grip because you want that power. Many of you found some perverse pleasure out of watching young women suffer to make it in one piece from bus stop to collage gate, your gaze fixed at her upper chest, where the tattoo of ‘carpe diem’ is rightfully placed. Ladies, it’s a hard truth: you are never good enough, never brilliant enough!
Here’s a list of sexist remarks women are done with, and since we are walking into a new year and a decade with 2020 just a few days away, it is the perfect time to get rid of them once and for all.
She is so fat. Who would hire her?
And there must be an enormous clot in your brain that clouds your judgement to make you believe that this remark is anything but non-sexist. She will get the job if she is worth it. Her size has nothing to do with her qualifications or capabilities, so why should it have anything to do with her employment?
She wears shorts, skirts, minis. It is distracting!
Take your toxic eyes off of her thigh-high skirt. She can wear what she want, and if her clothes "distract" you, the problem lies with your gaze my friend, not the length of her skirt.
Wearing shorts doesn't mean that she is trying to provoke/distract you. Wearing the clothes she likes and feels comfortable in, doing the makeup she prefers, eating whatever she wants, it is NEVER about YOU. So go find a corner on this huge planet where you can sit quietly and mind your own business.
She is dark. Not beautiful. Not my type
Your stereotypical gaze is irrelevant, especially to that lady who seems super comfortable in her own skin. She is beautiful the way she is and suggesting that fairness is the only thing you are attracted to or you find beautiful , only hints at your incapability to look beyond the colour of her skin. It doesn't matter if she is your type or not, because you clearly don't deserve her.
She is not 'sanskari'
She has a tattoo on her body, what kind of sanskar did her parents give her? Well, it is her body, so she has the agency to decide whether she wants a tattoo or not.
She is PMSing. It’s that time of the month
Not kidding. I once had a friend cringe at my face when I told him I was menstruating. It's 2020 guys. Stop acting like it's an untouchable disease. Grow the hell up!
Wow, she plays sports. I am impressed.
Mary Kom, Mithali Raj, Sania Mirza. Serena Williams? Ever heard of these names? C’mon man. Google it, give it a shot, once in a while.
Also Read: Ten Leadership Skills we can learn from Serena Williams
Oh no, she did not take his last name. Bad wife. And she will be a bad mother too.
Wait, what? How did you go from being a bad wife (for not taking his last name) to being a bad mother? What’s the connection? Give me some Aspirin. We are about to walk into 2020. Clearly a woman doesn't have to prove her loyalty and love to her partner by taking his last name.
Are you sure you don’t want kids? As a girl your body is meant to do it. It’s the nature.
Keep your ancient opinions locked inside the stereotypical institution you come from. Should a woman only have babies because her body is "meant" for it? should she embrace motherhood even if she isn't ready for it just to get rid of the immense social pressure she is under? It is high time we discussed these questions, instead of serving biology lessons on the plate of misogyny to women.
You talk a lot and undermine guys around you. Tumse kaun shaadi karega?
“Shaadi toh karni hi padegi,” so I must behave in a way which makes me appealing in the eyes of prospective grooms: Women don’t think like this anymore. Real, strong, passionate women shouldn’t scare strong, sensible and caring men. Real men don’t make women feel like they are not an easy person to be with.
She chugs beers? Not bad for a girl!
You should go Google the latest stat which says that Indian women are drinking more. And, hear this out for general knowledge: Women invented beers, so might as well drink it. Don't believe me, read it here.
All my beer-chugging sisterhood would like to inform you that we know our lager from our ale and we also buy our own drinks.
Also Read: ‘Da Da Ding’ and get sporty: Nike tells Indian women
Read More Stories By Ria Das
The views expressed are the author's own.