Dear Society, Stop Assuming That Single Women Are Lonely

She lives alone with a bunch of cats for company, the poor thing. What a miserable life it must be. To have no one to fuss over, to have no one to speak with, to eat your food alone and to lie in your all by yourself, cold and lonely. That’s how a lot of people imagine what life is like for single women, who forego the route of marriage. But if a woman is single, does it imply that she lonely? Must she have someone to fuss over (read kids and a husband), to add value to her life. Does a single woman also go alone to bed, sexually unsatisfied, craving for the intimacy that only a partner’s touch can bring? Or is it just the picture we project, to draw a picture of caution for other women who are contemplating whether to steer their life in the direction of matrimony or away from it?

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• A lot of people imagine that single women lead a lonely sad life.
• But is that true? Also, is marriage guaranteed cure for loneliness?
• Does a single woman also go alone to bed, sexually unsatisfied, craving for the intimacy that only a partner’s touch can bring?
• Or is it a stigma we carry since sex outside of marriage remains a taboo in our society?

If a woman is single, does it imply that she lonely? Must she have someone to fuss over (read kids and a husband), to add value to her life. Does a single woman also go alone to bed, sexually unsatisfied, craving for the intimacy that only a partner’s touch can bring?

The prospect of loneliness is often an argument used to advocate marriage, to both men and women. You need a companion for life, we are told, someone to live your life with, someone to make a family with. A person who’ll listen to you and warm up your hands on cold evenings. Isn’t it nice to have that someone special who keeps you in their thoughts always? But does being single mean that a woman can’t have all this? Why do we assume that single women lead loveless lives, devoid of sex or companionship?

Also Read: Female Sexuality: The New Hot Topic In Bollywood?

The problem is that we still equate companionship solely with matrimony and sex outside of marriage remains a taboo. So, a lot of people assume these elements to be missing from a single woman’s life. These assumptions also tell us how people fail to see that it is possible for a woman to find solace and fulfilment in her own company. Besides, are all grown up enough to realise that a single woman can take care of her sexual needs on her own. And being single doesn’t mean being off the dating circuit.

In this day and age, when you have access to the world at your fingertips, it seems like a poor choice to enter a serious commitment like marriage out of fear of lack of entertainment in the longer run.

Also, the definition of loneliness is subjective individual interpretation. I know a lot of people who feel lonely in their marriages. Who feel unheard and devoid of any companionship despite having built a thriving household for themselves. On the other hand, a woman living alone may have her girlfriends to talk to. She may have colleagues with whom she can go out to party, or have interesting conversations. As for boredom, in this day and age, when you have access to the world at your fingertips, it seems like a poor choice to enter a serious commitment like marriage out of fear of lack of entertainment in the longer run.

We need to stop finding ways to discourage women from staying single because that is the only purpose this gaze of pity solves. The institute of matrimony feels threatened of being abandoned if people realise that they can find happiness all by themselves. But here’s the deal, we’ll be never short of people who’ll enter matrimony, even if we encourage them to do so for the right reason, that is love and a strong desire to build a life together. As for staying single, isn’t it better to be happy on your own, than be unhappy with someone?

Also Read: How Singlehood Has Finally Emerged As The New Cool For Women

Yamini Pustake Bhalerao is a writer with the SheThePeople team, in the Opinions section. The views expressed are the author’s own.