Why Should My School Uniform Leave Me Feeling Self Conscious?

Generally, uniforms bestow a sense of belonging. They represent power or role one plays in a larger organisation. This applies primarily to professionals or authorities, such as nurses or the police- but more so in India than anywhere else, to students as well. But for girls, school uniforms bring something more than a sense of belonging in our country- it makes us conscious of our changing bodies in our formative years.

So far, I have attended two well-respected institutions in Mumbai. The first was an all-girls school established in 1914 which I attended up until the eighth grade. As such, we had a colonial schoolgirl uniform unsuitable for Bombay climate. I woke up twenty minutes early just to remember each component. Underwear, shorts, shirt, tie, pinafore, sash, badge, ID card, socks and shoes. Black cloth headband only.

If you forgot the shorts, you were in trouble. Up until the fifth, class teachers were allowed to check if you were wearing them.

As a somewhat chubby, small tween, I recall either drowning in or being stuffed into layers of fabric like the tight skin on jacket potatoes. My school had no air conditioning.  I realised I was actually a baked potato. When I asked one of my more lenient teachers why we still dressed like this, she said, "Maia, women must dress properly and appropriately, always." Confused, I spoke to my partner who doodled beside me on our desk. In a voice wise beyond her years, she stated, "More fat, more cloth. That's probably what she means." But she was skinny, and wore the exact same thing.

Key Takeaways:

• Indian schoolgirl uniforms are often very restricting both physically and mentally.
• This leaves long-lasting impact on confidence and could lead to body image issues.
• Everyone has the right to feel comfortable in their skin and uniform.

When I was accepted into an international school, my uniform 'improved.' The regular attire was a simple shirt and a skirt with any plain black shoes and white socks that fit. Our sports uniform was even better because it was a pair of tracks and a polo tee. And yet, every single house meeting,  assembly, attendance class or hallway run-in with a teacher, all the girls ever hear is "Your skirt is too short. Maximum two inches above the knee. Pull it down. DOWN."

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Probably a well-intended instruction, but this rule and hence by extension the uniform, fail in the aim of protecting us from predatory glances. The first reason is that (fortunately) most of the male students do not care if a little extra leg shows. Additionally, they have already been taught by the school that if they do, they're most likely not welcome. Second, if someone is going to harass you, it's not because of what you're wearing. While the school agrees, they still enforce the rule. Are my legs so vile that I must cover them all the time?

No matter how much cloth is involved, I am always shamed by my uniform despite being a proud part of both institutions.

Instead of feeling that sense of belonging, I feel lost about who I even am. Am I a student? A mannequin? A potato? A woman? An object? Playing Guess Who gets really tedious when you're not too keen on the answer. Even if I don't have to wear the Blooomin' Onion shorts under my pinafore to hide my thighs anymore, I still intrinsically feel like I have to. Pulling down my skirt and making sure my bra isn't tightly underwired or a non-neutral colour makes me think I have to use my uniform as some kind of shield.

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Even during online classes, at least two buttons of my polo PE shirt have to be on. Um, my video isn't even 'on' half the time. But God forbid, if I have to keep it on, those buttons better be too. I can't even choose how much oxygen my throat needs from the comfort of my own home. Maybe I won't have to worry about this in university, but every day my roomie will probably wonder why I'm staring at my reflection and counting on my fingers or sifting through bras. As a professional, my family will probably be thinking the same while I debate internally how many blazer buttons to keep 'on' even though more than two will probably make me nauseous.

If your school uniform represents belonging, make sure your identity belongs to you before you belong to anything else.

In case your little sister can't make her tie tighter or your elder sister can't pull her skirt further, tell her it's okay. If your mother is worried about the backstrap of her bra peeking out of her blouse, tell her its natural. Whatever your uniform is, make sure you're comfortable. If you're uncomfortable in your own skin, I guarantee you, you'll be the unhappiest jacket potato in the world. Be okay as a French Fry instead.

The views expressed are the author's own.