Is It Selfish To Give Love A Second Chance To Bloom?

In Gujarat, a young couple’s impending wedding came face to face with an unprecedented challenge, when the groom’s father allegedly eloped with the bride’s mother. According to The Indian Express, the parents on either side were in a relationship 25 years ago. But since the father of the groom was not economically well-off back then, the bride’s mother was married off elsewhere by her parents. However, the groom’s father sent a marriage proposal to the woman’s house years later and this brought the couple back in touch with each other.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• A young Gujarati couple is in the news because the groom's father allegedly eloped with the bride's mom just days before the marriage.
• It is sad, that they felt they had no other option but to elope.
• It is easy to take a moral high ground and judge other people.
• Ask yourselves, have you never taken a decision in your life which you thought was right, but still brought agony to your dear ones?

We are so busy trying to strike a balance between work and home, that we often forget to live a little. How many of us take a breather and just reminisce on the lives we have lived as of yet?

A lot of things remain unclear from whatever information is available. Did the groom’s father initiate the marriage proposal with the intention of rekindling the old flame? Was it fair that he set his son up for a dilemma and potential heartbreak by taking this step (if he indeed did it intentionally)? Did the couple feel so pressed to elope, because the marriage was drawing close and it would kill their chances of having a happy ending for themselves? However, the thing that has struck me is how life is so unpredictable, and not in the tragic sense (unless you are the said bride and groom in this case, and the spouse left in the lurch).

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Can you believe that we are almost close to the end of the first of the month of the year 2020, already? That’s how fast our lives pass us by. We are so busy trying to strike a balance between work and home, that we often forget to live a little. How many of us take a breather and just reminisce on the lives we have lived as of yet? The stolen kisses, the heartbreaks, the night outs with friends in your college or that memorable evening you spent in a quiet garden on your own, doing nothing, just listening to the sounds of nature and filling up your lungs with cool and moist fresh air.

It may come across as selfish to many, but as parents and spouse, they may have made numerous sacrifices.

Now imagine standing in front of that special memory, sweet or bitter, after a decade or two, unexpectedly. Such unexpected encounters often feel like an out of body experience, pulling you back in the past while the present stares right back at you. Do I support this couple’s decision to elope? I do, if they both took the step consensually. They are both well into their forties, have brought up children, sustained marriages and their respective households. It is sad  that they felt they had no other option but to elope. Perhaps in a more accepting set-up, they would have been able to talk it over with their families. Their children would then have perhaps empathised with them, instead of feeling ashamed due to the social shame being inflicted on them right now.

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But such is life, it doesn’t always give you choices that are black and white or right and wrong. It is easy to take a moral high ground and judge other people, but ask yourselves, have you never taken a decision in your life which you thought was right, but still brought agony to your dear ones?

If there’s anything I feel like taking away from this story, then it the couple's optimism and zeal to give love and life a second chance. It may come across as selfish to many, but as parents and spouse, they may have made numerous  sacrifices for the sake of the relationships. Is it wrong of then wrong for them to think of themselves and what makes them happy?

Yamini Pustake Bhalerao is a writer with the SheThePeople team, in the Opinions section. The views expressed are the author’s own.