My Job Has Nothing To Do With My Husband’s Paycheck

Every working woman has to deal with scepticism when it comes to her professional life in one way or the other. There is a question mark, not just about her commitment to her work, but also the intent behind it. Is she working out of boredom? Does her husband not earn enough? Is she working to bear her expenses? Would anyone ask such questions to a man, reversing the genders here? Then why must they be asked to women? Can’t a woman work simply because she loves it? Or because she cherishes being financially independent? Or simply because she aspires to carve her niche in a profession of her choice?

A few years ago, I gave up working as a dentist and switched to being a full-time writer. The transition came at the cost of a couple of years where I was technically unemployed (although, I was working on my book, that didn’t count because it was a work in progress that didn’t bring in a paycheck). Most people around me, men and women alike, told me that it was a good decision to focus on motherhood rather than my career. I did eventually start my career as a full-time writer, paycheck and all, as and when I was ready. But it turns out that some of those very people who had applauded me for embracing motherhood full-time were confused now. What is the need for you to do a full-time job? Keep writing books. Your husband earns enough to sustain his family, why must you toil away at work the whole day?

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It hadn’t crossed their minds that I wanted to work. That I wanted to earn my own money, and that this had nothing to do with how much money my husband made. But that is the exact scale on which a woman’s career is measured, in many families or social circles. She is either in it for extra money, financial problems, or because she needs to kill time. This mindset is then carried on to workplaces as well, where women have to work twice as hard, to prove their worth.

Even if a woman is working out of a financial obligation, does it mean that she has no attachment to her work? Besides, why must the responsibility of securing a family’s financial future rest solely on the man? Why can’t men and women share their household and financial responsibility on an equal footing?

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Our society just loves to tie a woman’s worth to her husband. A married woman holds an unfairly higher status than an unmarried, divorced or widowed one, for instance. Similarly, even our jobs need to be validated in a way that ties them up to the financial status of men in our lives. Women no longer desire to stay bound to their homes. They want to step out, see the world, study, earn money on their own, plan their finances and they don’t need to justify this choice. This is simply something our society has denied women because of their gender, and women are reclaiming it.

The views expressed are the author's own.