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Do you ever find yourself stumbling over words when trying to express your love and appreciation to your mom? You're not alone! Moms are like the steady anchors in our lives, always there through thick and thin. But expressing love and gratitude to them can feel as awkward as trying to dance in flippers.
It's a tough task, especially when we've spent so long hiding our true selves from them. How do we show our emotions to someone who still sees us as their little kid? It's a bit nerve-wracking, isn't it? But fear not, my friend! That's where the idea of love languages comes into play.
That's where the concept of love languages comes in! Worry not! I've got your back! Let's find a way to express love and appreciation to Mom without those awkward jitters. After all, nurturing an open and comfortable relationship with the person who means the most to you is key. So, here's how to make Mom feel truly special, seen, and loved, without the uncomfortable moments.
Love Languages For Mom: How To Subtly Show You Care?
Words Of Affirmation:
For many moms, the verbal expression of love means the world. After all, who doesn't like kind words? But there would be many like me for whom even saying 'I love you' to moms would be the toughest thing to do, even if their hearts screamed it. Worry not, I am not going to push you, like your friends and partners, to 'Just do it! It'll feel better."
Instead, you can start softly. I started with every day telling her the food was good and which item I liked; this has now also initiated joking around when she says, "Do not stop speaking," and I tease her, "You just want to hear how amazing you are, don't you?" She just smiles, but making her smile feels like an achievement when most of what I've done has stressed her out. You can also try simply sticking sticky notes on the fridge, mirror, walls, or doors, thanking her for something she did, or writing, "You're the best.". I see how a simple thank you text from her grumpy daughter like me makes her day.
Acts of Service
I think it's all of our moms who are always running in a million directions. Taking a chore off her plate, or running a few errands for her makes a big difference.
I see how preoccupied I get in my world, but coming out of it and offering my mom help not only makes her tasks easier but also makes her feel seen for the efforts she is making. No, your mom is still going to be frisky, and tell you how you do nothing! But if you eavesdrop on her conversation with her friends or relatives, you will hear her boasting about you!
Receiving Gifts
Who doesn't like gifts? This isn't about materialism, but the thoughtfulness behind the gift. Moms are so simple; it doesn't have to be a grand gesture or costly item (or else you will get slagged for spending money), but a simple gesture like how I pluck flowers for her as she likes to decorate or for pooja means so much to her.
However, I won't let her settle for this bare minimum. From buying her a book by my favourite author to making a rule to buy her something from my salary every month, I am going to spoil my favourite woman and show how every interest she tells me about doesn't go unheard.
Quality Time
Giving someone your time and attention is the greatest gift of all. And for moms, the greatest gift is your undivided attention. Put away your phone, listen actively, and engage in conversation or activities she enjoys. I have started watching Netflix with Mom, and I hate how she sleeps mid-way watching something and the way moody and choosy she is, but it is still fun to watch with her because she would not even take time for herself to watch films and shows, and somehow she knows I do it for her and appreciates it.
But you don't even need a movie night, take her for walks or simply sit with her on the couch and listen to whatever she says. Half of it won't even make sense, but the biggest life lessons I've learned are from her tales and stories that she has told me a hundred times. How I see it, she has for years felt unheard, and now I know from what happened in a 1.5-hour mountain vlog she watched on YouTube to her favourite vlogger's pet's name, from our maid's house stories to her friend's maid's life stories.
Physical Touch
Now, all of our moms deserve hugs and you should go right away and give her one! But not all of us can do it so easily, especially after having a tumultuous relationship with her all our teenage years or just her being a strict mom and awkward with touch.
You still have to make her feel comfortable about it. But don't worry, you don't have to rush into it. I am not a big hugger, and lying on her lap on a random day would just make her worry that I am sad or something is wrong with me. So instead of braiding her hair, I would just go sit near her on the couch, hold her hands from her bicep on the road, or take her legs as she sits after a long day and give her a massage. You see, not every time a hug is needed?
Bonus Point
These gestures may or may not be working for you. But you need to remember that consistently doing these acts would eventually make some difference. Patience and understanding are the keys. But do not forget to always be a child to your mother!