Dear Mr Karan Johar, Don’t Call Yourself A Feminist

Dear Mr Johar, don’t call yourself a feminist. Don’t hide behind that word to absolve yourself of the fact that you allowed two badly-behaved brats to go on your show and talk about women in the crassest manner possible.

If you were the feminist that you claim to be, you would have stepped in promptly to stop Pandya and Rahul from objectifying women and talking about us in the misogynistic, sexist manner they did. It was the easiest thing for you to tell them to avoid being disrespectful to women - it is your show after all. But you chose to let them shoot their mouths off, caring little about our feelings. And what about the feelings of the strong women who, you say, raised you? Have you been able to make eye contact with any strong women after this episode aired, Mr Johar?

It was the easiest thing for you to tell them to avoid being disrespectful to women - it is your show after all.

Pardon my saying so but your apology is a PR disaster. Someone has messed up big time in briefing you for this expression of regret and you better get them to pull up their socks so you are not left more embarrassed than you already should be. HardikGate on Koffee With Karan sucked big time. Nothing worse than stale, bitter coffee, as I am sure you have discovered over the last couple of weeks.

Let me point out to you, sir, that a heartfelt apology is one made with complete humility and without ifs, buts and such other beating around the bush.

I and thousands of women like me are outraged that even now you should be saying, "I’m not justifying the conversation that happened on the episode. I am just saying that perhaps things were said that may have crossed boundaries and I apologise because it was my platform from where it happened. I feel the boys have faced the price for it already."

Let me point out to you, sir, that a heartfelt apology is one made with complete humility and without ifs, buts and such other beating around the bush.

Boundaries may have been crossed? Really? Is that the best you can do, Mr Johar?

Of course, boundaries were crossed and we can’t believe that instead of owning up to that mistake you are feeling bad about the price the boys paid for it! Don’t forget, Mr Johar, that there are lakhs of us women in this country and we largely decide our family’s choice of entertainment and it makes very bad business sense for you or anyone else to roughshod over our feelings.

What makes your apology worse are the other things you said to justify the incident: “I have to say and I don't defend myself when I say this. I have to say that the questions that I asked the two boys are the questions I ask everyone including women. Deepika (Padukone) and Alia (Bhatt) were on the show, I asked them those questions. I have no control about the answers that come my way."

Of course, boundaries were crossed and we can’t believe that instead of owning up to that mistake you are feeling bad about the price the boys paid for it!

Well, then maybe it is time to stop asking those questions, Mr Johar, even if you have yourself admitted that your show is borderline ridiculous, irreverent and frivolous.

And last, but not the least, Mr Johar, please don’t add insult to our injury by insisting that your all-women control room did not find anything inappropriate in the content of the show. When they said to you that “Pandya was wild, crazy or cracked,” they were telling you something that you chose to ignore. We all know about the power dynamics in play at workplaces so what are the chances that anyone from the all-girls team would tell you categorically that the content was inappropriate?

We all know about the power dynamics in play at workplaces so what are the chances that anyone from the all-girls team would tell you categorically that the content was inappropriate?

Sudha Menon is the author of five non-fiction books including her latest, Feisty At Fifty. Her books are largely about the journeys of women, leadership and success. The views expressed are the author's own.