Girl Talk: My boobs are not equal. Are they supposed to be?

#GirlTalk is SheThePeople’s advice column. Have a question? Send it to us girltalk@shethepeople.tv – It can be anonymous if you’d like it that way. Women from different walks of life share advice and their personal experience to help you overcome your own. Today’s question is answered by Sonia Thomas.

Dear Girl Talk

I get a feeling my boobs are not equal. Are they supposed to be? How does one ensure that?

Boob Obsessed

Dear Boob Obsessed,

Sometime around 2004, when I was just 11. As I climbed up the stairs to watch my cousins play video games for the 219837329th time, I waved hello to my aunt. Small talk was engaged in, and as I kept looking impatiently towards my cousin’s testosterone cave, she surprised me with a new top. Not as exciting as the prospect of beating my brothers up, I took it from her and hesitantly tried it on. When I stepped out to show it to her, she eyed me from top to bottom, pleased with herself and proclaimed, “Wow! Your chest has grown, hasn’t it?”

I had never noticed my chest as a part of my body. Breasts? Boobs? Those were for other people. My mom, maybe. NOT ME. Outrageous.

The sudden discomfort — almost shame — sank in and stayed in my body for years. I often held my boobs up, hoping they’d be perky. Hoping they’d disappear. I wanted to shrink them and myself, if I could. 

Women are made to feel bad about their bodies every single day of their lives. As Tina Fey rightly said in her book Bossypants, “Every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits.”

I never had symmetrical boobs. Honestly, no one does. That’s the secret they don’t tell you. Porn scared and scarred me. I was told from every direction that I won’t be desirable if my body wasn’t perfect. In a world that constantly tells women how to behave, what to be, and how to look — the concept of loving or even ACCEPTING any body part is nearly revolutionary. 

Look, I am not going to tell you to love your boobs. But start by accepting them. As they are. Call them Cheese and Wine. They’re uniquely yours. Kurkure has said and I’m going to say it too: “Tedha hai par mera hai”. Your boobs have been your shield, your bags of comfort that make you huggable, and part of what makes your absolutely unique body yours. 

Today, lift your boobs and hug them. Restrain yourself from looking at them as different, but rather complementary to each other. Hold them, support them. And just trust them to do the same for you. And they will.