Dilemma: Should Women Embrace Motherhood Early On Or Later In Life?

Motherhood. So much has been written about this amazing institution, and yet all the writings combined can’t do any justice to what if feels like to be a mother. Every woman experiences it differently, and thus no singular definition or assumption can fit all. However, every woman faces a particular dilemma when it comes to embracing motherhood. What is the right age to become a mom? Should she have kids early on, in her twenties, when she has the energy and stamina that is much needed for the ordeal? Or should she postpone it to the later years, when she has a solid and stable career and financial security at her disposal? There are many factors that govern a woman’s decision when it comes to the right time to embrace motherhood. And no one reason can justify the choice each woman makes. But here’s my own perspective.

KEY TAKEAWAYS: 

• Should women embrace motherhood in their youth or postpone it to later?
• Can there be such a thing as the right age to become a mother though?
• The perfect time to have a kid isn't about the ideal age, but when a woman feels ready to embrace motherhood.
• Motherhood impacts women's lives in more ways than one. Which is why this decision should be taken based on individual needs and perspective. And not social norms.

What is the right age to become a mom? Should she have kids early on, in her twenties, when she has the energy and stamina that is much needed for the ordeal? Or should she postpone it to the later years, when she has a solid and stable career and financial security at her disposal?

I became a mum at the age of 28, which is relatively late according to some women, while pretty early according to others. To me though, it felt like the right time to embrace motherhood. I and my partner knew that we were as ready as we were ever going to be, to become parents. We had had our fill of carefree life that most urban newly married couples get to enjoy today, and it just felt like a natural next step in our relationship. And according to me that is the best time in your life to embrace motherhood- when you feel you are ready for it. I say feel because you are never fully ready to be a parent, not even after you’ve had a baby and have raised it into a full-blown adult, who leaves your nest to start their own family.

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That there's a right age to embrace motherhood, is a stereotype that we have inflicted upon ourselves and it does govern the choices women make in this matter to a certain extent. Words like the dreaded biological clock, career sabotage, work-life balance, etc. are flung by the pro-early and pro-late motherhood lobbies. But we forget the one crucial thing that matters the most, a woman's will to become a mother. No one should want to have a child because that is what society expects from you or because it is the right time, or any other social pressure. Then why must we ignore our own will in a matter which impacts our lives the most?

Both late and early motherhood has its set of benefits, and your choice should depend on how you want it to pan out for you on a personal level.

Early or late is an individual choice. Besides, it also depends on your perspective of what you consider to be early or late. Would we have developed a solid foundation in our arranged marriage, had we become parents earlier than we did? Would I have had the courage to give up my career as dentist and become a full time writer, had I put off motherhood to later years, and established my practice? Maybe not, and that’s another thing about motherhood; it shapes your life in ways you cannot fathom.

This is why it is of paramount importance that a woman not only has a choice in this important decision but she also understands how it will change her life in the longer run. Both late and early motherhood has its set of benefits, and your choice should depend on how you want it to pan out for you on a personal level.

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Yamini Pustake Bhalerao is a writer with the SheThePeople team, in the Opinions section. The views expressed are the author’s own.