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Dear Dads, Please Stop Forcing Your Daughters To Get Married

If you really want her to find the right guy or girl to marry, show her how the right person should treat her. Would you want your daughter's partner forcing her into doing things she doesn't want?

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Ratan Priya
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As a father, it is natural to feel responsible for your daughter's wellbeing. Even your daughter needs your support from time to time but there are some decisions that we all must take on our own with zero influence. Marriage is one of those decisions. By repeatedly telling your daughters to get 'settled' and 'have a family of their own' you are not just pushing her away from yourself but also indirectly forcing her to ruin her life. An unwanted marriage with a person who she doesn't necessarily admire will do her no good. If you are want to help her to get 'settled' in life, here's what you should do instead:

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Become her rock, someone she can always fall back to

Life throws enough curveballs at us. Even more when you are not a straight man. Your daughter might feel in need of someone who would listen to her without judgement. When your daughter feels defeated outside in the real world she should have a home to come back to where she can receive unconditioned love and support.

Help her believe in her dreams

As women, we are always told what we can and cannot achieve in life. No matter how progressive your parenting, your daughter will still have had many men patronising her. If you keep pushing to get married, she might feel getting married and bearing children is the only expected of her. Try to understand what she really wants to do with her life and just push her to do those things without fear.

Let her be the woman she wants to be

No matter what sort of life you want for your daughter, she has her own ideas. Whether she wants to have kids without marriage, colour her hair blue, climb mountains for a living or anything else. Your job as a father who loves her daughter is to let her do her thing.

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Also read: 7 Things Shyamala Gopalan Said To Kamala Harris That All Mother's Should Say To Their Daughters

Take accountability for your actions

You might have tried your best at raising her but it is not necessary that she feels the same about her upbringing. Children grow up with issues given by their parents and this heavily affects their adult lives. You can open a window for conversations where she tells you about the things went wrong with her childhood. This might seem like digging grave but you would be surprised how positively it will impact your daughter's life in future.

Be the person she would look for in her partner

Lastly, if you really want her to find the right guy or girl to marry, show her how the right person should treat her. Would you want your daughter's partner forcing her into doing things she doesn't want?

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