5 Conversations That Every Mom And Daughter Should Have

The bond between a mother and her daughter can pass off as the sweetest yet the most complicated one. Especially when it comes to south Asian woman, even though they deal with the internalised patriarchal values, mothers always hold a soft spot for their daughters. Maybe because they see their own younger selves in them or maybe because they do not see their younger selves in them. The most accurate depiction of a mother-daughter relationship can be seen in Gilmore Girls. Even though Lorelai and her daughter of the same name, Lorelai, are best friends and have the most ideal level of understanding between them, mother Lorelai is once heard confessing that she will despise her daughter for achieving the things she couldn't achieve in her life. However, she was her daughter's biggest support system. Here are some things that every mother-daughter duo should speak to each other about:

Feminism 

How can we advocate sisterhood and feminism without taking our mothers along with us? It can be difficult to hold certain discussions with mothers as they often give examples of their times and how they never had any problem adjusting. But it is on us to make them realize that they should never have to 'adjust'. It is on us daughters to understand their biases and sensitively counter them. And it is upon our mothers to value our opinions even if they do not agree with them.

Desires

Imagine if all-things-sexual was explained to us by our mothers and we didn’t have to depend on non-credible websites for such information. Mothers should be able to talk about sex with their daughters and it should not be always a cautionary-tale-recital session. As women themselves, mothers know exactly what their daughters should strive for in their sexual relationships then why aren’t they educating them?

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Also read: The Missing Middle: Puberty Is A Critical Time At School, So Why Aren’t We Investing In It More?

Goals

Sometimes when women are unable to achieve their personal goals, they expect their daughters to work for the same goals. But daughters have a life of their own, a mind of their own and whole new set of experiences so shouldn’t daughters be allowed to set their own goals? When a daughter talks about her own idea of success and happiness, mothers should be able to have proper conversations about them rather than just refuting them for being useless. It should also be on daughters to support their mother in reaching for any goal no matter how late in life. It’s never too late to follow your dreams.

Failures

Success stories are often a big topic in households but there is seldom any when it comes to failures. Mothers in their experiences go through so much but only share the good parts with their children; don’t the kids deserve the whole story? When mothers share stories of failure and successes, we get to know about the woman behind that mother figure. We also get more comfortable with our failures when there is nobody setting unrealistic standards for us.

Mental health 

The most important conversation to have is about mental health. Most women complain about how their south Asian mother dismisses depression and anxiety as they call them modern diseases. But is it? One would expect mothers to be most sensitive about their children’s health and yet they are the ones refusing to acknowledge the mere existence of mental issues.