17 Years Of Kal Ho Naa Ho: How Aman Robbed Naina Of Her Right To Choose A Partner For Herself

Kal Ho Naa Ho has turned 17 and “Mere naina sirf meri naina ko dhoondhte hain” still makes us drool over Shah Rukh Khan. This romantic dragedy (drama +tragedy) is basically about how Aman leaves Naina, a backup lover-Rohit since he has cardiac problems and can’t give her a life-long relationship. Well, that is extremely thoughtful of Aman, but what right does he have to decide who Naina gets to end up with?

Did anyone ask Naina if she wanted Rohit? Was it fair to manipulate Rohit into being the second choice of his wife for the rest of his life? Why does Aman pull off a lā Sima Taparia who is high on love? 

Sure, even our hearts go “Kuch toh hua hai, kuch ho gaya hai” when we look at the power of love and the sheer beauty of “Humara angel aa gaya”. But why is Naina just a pawn between two men who want to have her? Why isn’t she allowed to decide what she wants for herself? Why is Rohit the best choice for her just because he loves her?

We can’t hum like Aayushman Khurrana but we would sincerely like to ask “Naina da kya kasoor?”

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2. Listen y'all control freaks

Loving someone is truly an unconscious choice. It feels like chemicals hopping in your brain and electricity running through your veins. You love the other person with the entirety of their strengths and flaws. When you wear heart-shaped glasses, you do not weigh pros and cons. It is a relationship and not a sabzi mandi. Now if that person is to pass away tomorrow or after 25 years is not in your hands. Does that make the relationship and love less valid? 

Trying to pound the flour of love into boxes like time, validation cards like marriage, social media and the security of being long-lasting is useless. Feelings are the only thing in the world along with Donald Trump’s Twitter handle which run without a leash. Trying to control them is as futile as depending on Republic TV for news. Naina could have loved Aman for the time he was alive and would have probably enjoyed a successful relationship till his last breath.

Maybe she wouldn't have wanted another man in her life after Aman. Maybe she would have liked some time to get over her heartbreak and then walk into another relationship, with any man that she chose for herself. She deserved that. He deserved that. And Rohit deserved someone who loved him back.

3. Reality vs Expectations

Alas, mighty saviour Aman hooks up Naina with the idea of life-long love with a man who was not her first choice. Aman takes away a euphoric short-lived love story and leaves Naina with a mediocre life long romance. 

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 “Pyaar toh bahut log karte hain, lekin mere jaisa pyaar koi nahi kar sakta, kyunki kisi ke paas tume jo nahi ho.” Exactly, Aman. Exactly. Why would Naina ever go to Rohit instead of you? And even if you left two days after committing to her, there is always the option of moving on and forgiving life.

The point here is that Kal Ho Naa Ho, with all its sweet and salty (from all the buckets of tears that I cried watching this film) romance reinforces the idea that women are incapable of fending for themselves. That they are weak and thus Aman needs to leave the love of his life in Rohit's care because the poor thing would be a lost lamb in this big bad world without a man to hold her together by her side.

We are so done with such stories now, where the idea of robbing women's agency in the name of protecting them from harm or heartbreak is romanticised. Aman shouldn’t have to worry about what happens when he is no longer with Naina. She can stay single. Or she can also get ghosted like us on dating applications. Or she can follow Sweetu’s advice and go “doosri shaadi kar lungi.” It is her choice, and men in her life should let her make it for herself if they truly love and respect her.

The views expressed are the author's own.