Why Shefali Shah's Bad Hair Day Note Hits Home

As women, we all oscillate between fight and flight like a pendulum, except that pendulums can be hung on the wall of every house but 'wild' women like us are unwelcomed everywhere. We fight every day with family, employers, partners and society as a whole and then resort to flight as a coping mechanism for our stress. Whenever I used to walk out of a toxic relationship or have fights with my family for my life choices, I walked inside salons and got my hair coloured. Sounds weird? 

Hair colouring gave me a respite from the stress and depression I faced due to all the rebellion. New colour new me or choosing the colour that matched my emotions - it was really healing. However, when I went back home, it was like returning to the battlefield, again! The same arguments, the rationalisation of my 'bookish' knowledge of my rights and the same conclusion - "You are selfish! Haven't seen the world." 

I am a 27-year-old single woman. I have seen men who only need money or sex. I have seen women standing on their own feet by following unconventional careers. I have seen women facing injustice. I have seen changes brought about by feminism. What more do I need to see? Wait, is my family talking about the world tour? Well, let me follow my passion, I will do that too. 

Shefali Shah's post on her bad hair day

While all these conflicts were going on in my mind, I came across actor Shefali Shah's post on bad hair day. She talked about sisterhood and women cheering for each other. She writes, "Whoever has not had a bad hair day, hasn't truly experienced life's ups and downs!!! But I have, up down sideways and whichever way possible."

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A post shared by Shefali Shah (@shefalishahofficial)

Shah further says, " I recognise almost every woman tied together in sisterhood not by the umbilical cord but by the 'was hair now gone there' syndrome!!! See, that's what I mean, when I have a bad hair day, not only do I look like a disaster, but I feel like one too and the meaning of disaster and divine gets entangled in this unruly mess."

She ends by saying, "My hair is untameable, is that even a word... well it should be, an adjective to describe wild women, with wild spirits, and even wilder hair."

What do wild women do?

Wild women are not accepted in our society. Sylvia Plath once wrote, "Out of the ash; I rise with my red hair; And I eat men like air." We are, as Shah says, untameable as we cannot be confined by patriarchal norms and traditions. We are a disaster because we not only have traumas but also the will to fight in the present. We are women with badass opinions who won't stop to speak for our rights, even if a wild disaster hits us. 

So, dear wild women, don't just have the strength to walk into the wilderness but also into the patriarchal world. Let that hair go haywire but not the wild spirit inside you. Define your wildness.

Views expressed are the author's own.