5 Lessons From Dear Zindagi That Help Us Connect Better To Ourselves

Dear Zindagi is a comfort film for many. Through her film, Director Gauri Shinde surfaced some major life-altering messages that can always be circled back to if you're facing dilemmas in relationships, mental health or in connecting to yourself.

The film which features Alia Bhatt as Kaira and Shah Rukh Khan as Dr Jehangir Khan made us laugh whole-heartedly and cry endlessly at the same time. It wasn't just relatable, it paved the way to generating conversations that we often take a step back from. Conversations that can help us normalise a lot of stigmatised issues and can help us collectively accept our identities and move us an inch closer to self-love.

And no, it’s not just because Shah Rukh Khan is delivering these life lessons with utmost humility that we must follow the film's underlying message. Okay, maybe a little. But the story, which keeps you gripped throughout is a hard relate in all of its settings that serve as breakthroughs in one aspect of life or another.

Dear Zindagi is a slice-of-life film that not only gives us a great cinematic experience but also teaches us a few significant lessons when it comes to life, relationships and prioritising our ">mental health.

Suggested reading: From Dear Zindagi To The Lunchbox: Films That Captured What It Means To Be Lonely

Dear Zindagi Turns Six: Lessons We Learnt From The Film

1. It's ok to take an easy route 

As a society, we're conditioned into believing that only hardships lead us to success. Sure, hardships make us stronger and offer diverse life-altering perspectives in life, but to say that only the tough paths will get us to attain our goals is wrong and misleading.

Dear Zindagi addresses this and tells us through the storyline that sometimes choosing a path which is comfortable can be an option too and sometimes that's exactly where the answer lies.  In a world where unhealthy hustling is normalised and mental health and finding contentment takes a backseat, Dear Zindagi reminds us to take it slow and feel our sites instead of just being part of the race.

2. A perfect partner doesn't exist, love means to embrace imperfection

The pressure we put into finding the perfect partner is uncanny. It's unreal and can so, at times get to our mental health because we're always looking for perfection in someone else and that is unfair to not just us but also the other person.

A scene in Dear Zindagi reminds us that just like we don't have over-the-top expectations from our friends and accept them for who they are, why is it that we put the burden of perfection on our potential or existing partners? Why is it that we expect them to play all roles in life when they're living life in the same circumstance just as us?

The film subtly explains how love is and will always be about embracing the other person for who they are and not what we want them to be. That the strongest relationships are built over acceptance, perfection and selfless love, and that's what helps two people grow individually while still remaining a strong couple.

The Infamous ‘Kursi’ scene

If we're mentioning relationships, there's no way we don't bring back the Kursi scene from the film. When Kaira tells Dr Jehangir that society is so judgemental when it comes to a woman dating more than one man during the course of her life, the latter explains to her why should she bother to about what society thinks.

He explains to her with a great example stating that just like we make no compromises while buying a piece of furniture, how come we get apprehensive while looking for a partner whom we can connect with even if it means we date multiple times to find the one for us? He further refers to those who suffer in relationships because of the stigma attached to separation and emphasises the fact that staying in a relationship just for the sake of it can be brutal for both people involved and choosing to go separate ways can sometimes be empowering and liberating in more ways than one.

3. Seeking help for mental health should be normalised

The film's backdrop itself preaches the significance of mental health. Kaira's sessions with therapist Dr Jehangir Khan are the soul of the film which, through every scene, denotes why it's super crucial to seek help when we're down with our mental health. While society is changing for the better when it comes to normalising therapy, and steps are taken to prioritise mental health, it's still a long way towards collectively destroying this taboo and creating a healthy space where people can discuss grief, anxiety and depression and seek help however they can, in whatever way they can.

4. The little joys? They aren't little

Dear Zindagi emphasises the small moments that make life. Not success, not endless money making, not luxury, not the rat race to become the best competitor out there, but the small moments that we often miss because we are constantly hustling to get somewhere. Where? Even we don't know.

The slice-of-life film visually shows us how taking a walk by the beach, meeting someone for coffee, cycling alone to feel the fresh air, watching the sunset, or staying up for a sleepover with a friend can prove to be the little joys that contribute to our happiness in the long run, and why missing these moments will only lead to a mundane life that can be hazardous for us and our loved ones. 

5. Let's humanise parents, they're people too

Of all the major lessons that the film taught us, this one is super important because it helps us connect with our parents like never before. We often forget that parents are humans too, that they have their aspirations and imperfections which we must accept unconditionally just like they do for us.

Putting them on a pedestal and then judging them when they fall short, is unfair to them and can ruin the parent-child bond in the family. While parents are associated with the term 'responsibility', it is unfair to expect them to deliver 24/7 just because they have given birth to you.

Learning that parents can make mistakes too and, just like you, are learning on the go will help strengthen your bond with them. The film teaches us that second chances are not a one-way route in a family and that parents deserve a second chance too.