Moms Are Excited About Anupamaa's Valentine's Day. But What About Their Daughters?

Indian aunties will be glued to their television sets this week as Anupama will be celebrating her first Valentine's Day, that too with the very dreamy Anuj, who promises to bring love to her life after a hiatus of 26 long years. Based on the Bengali show Sreemoyee, Rupali Ganguly-starrer Anupamaa is touted to be a very progressive show, as it is about a middle-aged woman leaving her toxic husband and finding love and financial independence eventually. But are the viewers of the show as progressive, when it comes to their own kids?

Taking to Instagram, Ganguly shared a snippet from the show's upcoming Valentine's Day special episode, to be telecasted on February 16, along with the caption, "Feb is Fab. Anupamaa Ki zindagi ka pehla Valentine’s Day. Special toh hoga hi. Want to know Ki aap log kya chahte hai ki ho! Aur aap log ko kya lagta hai ki Anupamaa aur Anuj ka Valentine’s Day kaisa hoga."

Anupamaa Valentine's Day Episode: Why do moms have different standards?

Valentine's Day celebrations are a big part of Hindi television serials. Old, middle-aged, young, newly-married or estranged, all sorts of couples on television get another chance to rekindle their relationship, thus making for pivotal moments in the shows on the day of lovers. Those rooting for Anupamaa's Valentine's Day episode are actually excited because it could mean a new romantic start for its female lead, something that the show has been building up to for many months now.

Suggested Reading: Rupali Ganguly Says Her Husband Took Up Household Responsibilites So She Could Act

But off-screen the very moms and aunts cannot even bear to entertain the thought of their daughters and sons celebrating Valentine's Day unless of course, they do so with their wife or husband, or a partner approved by the family. Will any desi mom clap with enthusiasm if her unmarried daughter spent a romantic night under the starry sky, as shown in Anupamaa's special episode teaser, with a man she is attracted to? Will she even be allowed to stay out late? Even if she doesn't seek her mother's permission, will she be welcomed back home with open arms? Will she not be bombarded with questions and demanded a debrief on how she spent every second?

While we talk about how men police women's lives in our society, always having an opinion on what they should wear, how they should live and whom they should love, are our aunts, cousins, moms or grandmothers any different? The reason why they police younger women might be slightly different though. Women are conditioned to live by social norms from a very young age and thus end up internalising them. It leads them to believe that any woman who doesn't play by these rules is a "bad" woman. Or, let us rephrase this, women feel that if they want to be respected by others, or perceived to be virtuous, then they and the other women they care about must behave a certain way.

There are also women who simply want to be a spoilsport and force women to abide by social norms because that's how they have lived their life and why should others get to do it differently? Whatever may be the reason, one thing is certain- women have different standards for their daughters, and even sons, than for their favourite television characters and couples. This makes us wonder, do progressive shows even lead to a change in our society? Or is it simply an exercise to grab more eyeballs?

The views expressed are the author's own.