Bhai Dooj Should Be A Celebration Of Sibling Love Not Just A Festival for Brothers

On November 16, Hindus in India will be celebrating Bhai Dooj. It is a festival in which sisters pray for their brothers and celebrate sibling love. It is celebrated two days after Diwali and on the second day of the Vikrami Samvat. This festival is widely celebrated by Hindus across the country.

How is it celebrated?

The celebrations of Bhai Dooj is quite similar to the Raksha Bandhan as both festivals are dedicated to siblings. Usually, sisters worship their brothers, apply tilak on their forehead and offer prayers to God for each other’s welfare. Some sisters even observe a fast on this day until the rituals are conducted. If the sister is married, she invites her brother over to her matrimonial house to conduct the celebration. The brothers then give presents to their sisters in return of the puja. The sisters also touch the feet of their elder brothers.

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The history behind the festivals

Bhai Dooj is celebrated to commemorate two significant incidents of Hindu mythology. First is the story of love between Lord Krishna and his sister and Arjuna’s wife Subhadra. According to the legend, when Lord Krishna defeated the asura king Narkasur, Subhadra invited Krishna over to her house to celebrate his victory. She welcomed him with a tilak on his forehead and performed aarti. Lord Krishna was so impressed by the loving gesture of his sister that blessed her with abundant boons.

Another story that backs the significance of Bhai Dooj is that of Yamaraj and his sister Yami or Yamuna. According to the legend, Yamuna welcomed Yamaraj to her house by applying tilak on his forehead and prayers for him. Since that day, Yamaraj deigned this day as auspicious in Hindu religion. He said that any brother who receives tilak and aarti should not be afraid of death.

Watching it from a feminist lens:

The very name of the festival Bhai Dooj shows its rooted patriarchal biases. It is based on the idea that a woman, whether a wife, daughter or sister, should perform rituals for the welfare of the brothers. While there are no such rules or rituals conducted by men for the welfare of the women in their house. It also showcases the issue of male-child preference in Indian families. Even today, sisters are expected to serve their brothers, wash his clothes, dishes and even perform a puja for them because he is a man and the future family head. If a brother will be protected from misfortunes and death through Bhai Dooj, what about the sister? Why is there no one to pray for her immortality? How long are we going to raise boys and girls by making them internalise these biases through religion? Why are festivals not just yearly celebrations but an indicator of how patriarchy thrives at home?

A new and unbiased way to celebrate Bhai Dooj or any festival about siblings is to look at it from the lens of sibling love alone. Rather than prioritising brothers, these festivals should harbour the idea of mutual love, respect and support among siblings. Small fights for television remote, an equal amount of maggie is very common among siblings. Festivals like Rakshabandhan, Bhai Dooj can play a special role in encouraging compassion and reminding siblings that they are the biggest support for each other.

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