Why Bringing Our Whole Selves To Work Is the Way to Go

The first time I felt truly nervous while addressing my company during an all-hands meeting was after effortlessly leading those meetings for five years, month after month.

I was nervous because what I was about to share was hard. It was also the first time I was breaking the silence around something I had felt ashamed of nearly my whole life.

I began directly: I was sexually abused when I was eight years old by someone I trusted at home.

I paused, allowing that to sink in.

Then I shared with my team why I was telling them my story. Because I wanted them to go home and talk to their kids. I wanted them to break the silence around what was taboo for them. I wanted them to speak up if they had stories that were weighing them down. And more than anything else, I wanted to be free of my secret and it’s ugly hold on me. By telling them, I was telling myself, "This does not define me."

In the decade that I ran the all-hands meeting, I can honestly say that this one was unparalleled. 

Multiple people had open conversations with their kids, discovered instances of abuse happening within their own homes, made changes, and expressed eternal gratitude. Dozens of people came forward and shared their own stories in the safe space that opened up. 

But something else happened that I now understand in hindsight. When people feel seen—not as mere cogs in the wheel, but as human beings who carry the same pain, baggage, and burdens as their leader—they transcend their own limiting identities. They start redefining and broadening who they are, and who they can be. And in that space of transformation, industries, societies, and entire nations can change. I saw that happen. 

While the tangible impact on business metrics is easy to track—such as the lowest attrition in the industry and the highest month-on-month growth—the true magic lies in the intangible. It's when you notice a newfound confidence with which the team introduces themselves and their work, when customer concerns are met with deep empathy and active listening, and when innovation happens at every moment of every day. That's when you know speaking up was worth it.

Unveiling our vulnerabilities and embracing our authentic selves can be remarkable.

A tiny ripple that starts with a whispered secret turns into a tide of change that crosses the boundaries we impose between work and life. When we find the courage to share our narrative and show others that it is okay to do it too, a window of empathy, understanding, and real connection, opens up. 

As leaders, isn’t it then our responsibility to be vulnerable and authentic? To demonstrate that it doesn’t make us weaker but instead propels us to the next orbit.

Intrigued? Fantastic. Now, let's talk about how you can make this happen:

• Start by identifying one thing that you keep hidden as a leader. Something deep and traumatic. Or even silly and shameful. 
• Did someone make you feel inferior? Did you identify with something that felt wrong? Did you do something you wish you could take back? Were you a victim, a perpetrator, or a bystander in a situation you wish had never occurred?
• Say it aloud. First to yourself. Then to your family. Then to your team. Then to anyone willing to listen.
• And observe as the power of authenticity moves you and everyone else it touches.
• Then repeat.

When I have guided others through this process, I often encounter resistance, as people argue that it's easier said than done. Trust me, I understand.

The version of me at 27, standing before 300 individuals and sharing something that the eight-year-old me couldn't even put into words, knows exactly how you feel. Yet, I urge you to try. 

Suggested Reading: Are Women Entrepreneurs Hurting Themselves In A Man's World?