She’s Fire Bro, Stop Labelling Her Hoe!

Hoe era. The term’s quite fascinating. For a start, just coz ONLY women apparently have it, never men! One theory legit claims: “there’s no guy walking into a bar going it’s my hoe phase, gonna be a hoe tonight. No, no, no every night is a hoes night for men.” Okay, even if we take that with a ‘guy’gantic dollop of organic Himalayan pink salt, the undertone mostly rings true. Why else would Casanova, Bluetooth Boy (connects to the nearest available device YKWIM) and Stud be badges of honour! Ego massages! Manly metaphors! Labels of pride! Amirite? For crying out loud, BDE is a flex branding someone “as secure, exuding confidence without arrogance.” Bah! 

Coming next, haven’t you noticed that “hoe era” is ALWAYS kind of a sly slut-shaming sticky note carelessly flung at every – independent, confident, opinionated, intelligent, attractive, empowered woman when all else seems to fail. All else is – fair and square competition, controlling tactics, misogynistic manipulations, covert micro aggression, sexist double standards and all of them subtle patriarchal ploys women have to deal with every step of the way in life as daughters, mothers, wives, friends, sisters, colleagues, bosses whatever! Ask any woman this, she’ll tell you first hand. It’s a “given” lived experience, no matter the age, class, educational qualification, job title, religion, culture, ethnicity, marriage status or race. 

Believe it or not, say what you will -- the truth, the “hoe” truth and nothing but the truth remains that: 

• She’s a hoe, if she dresses up well: Raunchy songs tell her that via choli, chunari, ghagara innuendoes. Viral “medusa, mommy sedusa” trends subliminally re-enforce it. Aunty aka old hag isn’t supposed to flaunt neons just as single, self-sufficient, attractive young women shouldn’t slut up and show skin. 

• She’s a hoe, if she dares to laugh out loud: Addressing the ‘degeneration of society’ a Dy PM once openly told women to ‘preserve their decency at all times ‘and not LOL.’ Proper etiquette is officially not in favour of a woman “laughing fearlessly in public that too without covering her mouth.” 

• She’s a hoe, if she drinks and smokes openly: Smoking stigma and ‘unladylike’ communal drinking are actual socio-cultural hurdles. This is not to endorse anything as such, but a note against gendered discrimination. Let every adult make their own choices or face the consequences! 

• She’s a hoe, if she gets that promotion: A meta-analysis of sexual rumours, character assassination and ‘she must have slept her way to the top’ mind-set confirms a toxic minimalization of real #metoo horror stories and disdainful negation of real competence by ‘professional’ gossipmongers even in 2024. 

• She’s a hoe, if she knows her mind: THOT, to be precise! Every woman who is trying her best to break out of the generational curse of female subservience in thought, word and deed knows what a fight it is to know her mind and go ahead and express it in her choice of food, job, lifestyle, shoe, make-up, car, curtains, me time or mate! There’s a ‘heredity of shame’ that in fact screws up the mental well-being of many in the process because of the constant guilt-tripping and imposter-syndroming. 

• She’s a hoe, if she’s intelligent: Why is she single? asks the reels. Answer: Because she is intelligent. So intelligent that men don’t measure up to her high standards. Is that supposed to make women feel good about themselves? Really? Coz the sub text smoothly labels all women in relationships less intelligent, while supposedly glorifying the ‘intelligent’ woman as the haughty overachiever who intimidates men and can truly never have a relationship unless she dumbs down! 

• She’s a hoe, if she owns her attitude: A woman with an attitude is a strict no-no anywhere. “What’s with the attitude” is metaphorically “shut up and fall in line” woman. “Attitude problem” is a gynac issue sullying only the female DNA! 

• She’s a hoe, if she is unafraid and oozes confidence: Boss ladies, public speakers, entrepreneurs, business owners, matriarchs, super achievers, divas, path-breakers, change makers, alchemists, activists, dreamers – any woman going places with her head held high, unafraid to blaze her own trail, well aware of her worth, ready to prioritize herself in the scheme of things is an anomaly, that needs to be righted!  

• She’s a hoe, if she flaunts her sexuality: One-sided conservatism, sexual suppression, dehumanizing, limited mobility, economic dependence, cross-cultural factors and sheer lack of social support are among the oft-listed evolutionary suppressants of free thought. So, a woman who dares to flaunt her sexuality is automatically unacceptable! 

• AND… She’s THE hoe even when someone wants to insult the men of her house: Don’t we all know how. The ‘mother, sister’ slurs are almost banter now. Normalized. Jokes. So easily sliding off lips. The global etymology of swearing is heavily loaded against the female form. 

This “hoe era” seems to be forever then if you are a woman, like it or not. Want it or not. Choose it or not. Planet’s full of Santas gone rouge crying hoe, hoe, hoe across season, across reason! Once in a while, feminist activism does surges transnationally in the form of Slut Walk Movements, Taylor Swift’s iconic lyrics, digilantism, synergized campus discourses, exposing the ‘good girl’ narrative, bestsellers on whore-phobia and movies with strong female leads to counter such anti-female Neanderthal neurosis. Ground reality, however, remains mired in orthodoxy, inequality and normalised misogyny.

Can we, the women, upturn this whole script somehow? Can we re-define hoe. Can we re-claim our era. For every Milkshake can our hoe playlist also have Flowers, for every Rude Boy can we also have a Roar, for every Fergalicious can we also have Girl on Fire…

Everybody stares as she goes by / ‘Cause they can see the flame that’s in her eyes / Watch her as she’s lighting up the night… 

Can we?

Views expressed by the author are their own