Are Women Entrepreneurs Hurting Themselves In A Man's World?

In 2020, when I took a flight to Vancouver on March 15, I never knew it was the last one I would take for many years. Not because of the pandemic, but because 2020 brought with it a profound question - what kind of mother do I want to be?

What does motherhood have to do with entrepreneurship? Everything.

Here's how:

When (if) women chose to become entrepreneurs, there is a silent question that they often ask themselves. Depending on how old they are, the exact urgency or choice of words may change, but it’s some version of - what will I need to give up as a ">mother because I am starting down this path?

Do men ask themselves any version of this question? No.

Does that mean women shouldn’t either? No. In fact, the problem lies only in the silence that surrounds the question. Why is this not an open conversation? Why are our choices looked at with disdain, shame even?

Motherhood and entrepreneurship

Those of us that choose entrepreneurship, and many don’t know that we are making a choice for the foreseeable future - either to prioritise our startup or to only bring half ourselves to work and home. In a world of men, it seems unfair that only we need to make this choice.

And yet, it is in running away from it that we most injure ourselves.

The funny thing, if you are doing it right, 50% of your team should be dealing with the same dilemma. By bringing your vulnerability to work, you show them that it is indeed okay for them to do so too. You show them, and the men that support (or hinder) them, that balance is a myth and just because you chose a path for a moment, doesn’t exclude all other paths in the future.

To the women that have the privilege of being entrepreneurs and leaders, isn’t it then our responsibility to normalise this dilemma and bring out the fear that is left lurking? By calling it what it is, won’t we free ourselves and all those that look towards us, to embrace our whole selves - mothers, leaders - fully and completely?

And isn’t that what makes us powerful? We are nurturers, builders, and listeners. In trying to be as men expect leaders to be, we become lesser, smaller and even disappear.

Instead, here’s an idea: today and every day after, share vulnerably with your team how you feel torn about your own choices. Then watch how they magically bring their own selves to work. Watch as the organisation evolves into a rare space where women feel safe, where women support other women, where ideas become larger than life, and efficiency and speed become the new normal.

I did quit my CEO role in 2020 when I learned I was ">pregnant. And I made the choice fully. I knew it was a trade-off but the upside of being a mother, the way I wanted to, was considerable. And now that both my babies are slightly older, I am finding the time and space to reinvent myself as an entrepreneur and leader.

Had I not made that choice in 2020 and stayed mid-flight, I would not have been half the mother, human or even leader I am today.

Knowing this today doesn’t mean that the choice wasn’t hard or that I didn’t miss being in the thick of startup action for a while. Yet, there is only one way to be yourself - to make the choice that most closely resembles you - and then not look back.

Views expressed by the author are their own. Feature image from Freepik

Suggested Reading: Do Moms Really Never Get Tired? Or Do They Keep Pushing Themselves Due To Guilt?