Nation First: A Story Of Courage From The Eyes Of An Officer's Wife

What is courage? How can one demonstrate courage in the most vulnerable circumstances? My life serves as an answer to these questions. Courage is a quality that is often tested in vulnerable circumstances. As an Army wife, I have personally experienced the challenges that come with this role.

We may not wear stars on our shoulders, or uniforms, or hold any official ranks, but our dedication and sincerity in serving our nation are equal to that of our husbands. We share the responsibility of their rank with unwavering commitment.

A Story Of Courage

It was 2 am in the middle of the night when I sat on a chair next to my mother's hospital bed. She lay unconscious due to a stroke caused by distressing news in the newspaper. Worries about my future and the sudden uncertainty that enveloped our lives weighed heavily on her mind. Tears welled up in my eyes as I silently prayed, trying to ignore the headlines that haunted me daily.

Coming from a civilian background, being born to doctor parents, and working in IT, my passion to become part of the Armed Forces led me to marry Captain Akhilesh Saxena, an artillery officer. At the time, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Just a few months after our marriage, he was on the front lines, fighting in the treacherous ridges of Kargil.

Allow me to take you back to the time when India fought its most deadly, cruel, and challenging war. On June 10th, newspaper headlines shook the nation as the bodies of Captain Saurab Kalia and five other soldiers of the 4Jat Regiment, missing since May 14th, were returned to India. Their bodies bore unimaginable signs of torture—burn marks from cigarettes, gouged-out eyeballs, severed noses, ears, and genitals—before being callously shot in the temples by the enemy.

Such brutality had never been witnessed in the history of our nations' conflicts. My heart sank as I realised that my husband was fighting on that very battlefield. Negative thoughts consumed me, and the fear of his potential absence led me to contemplate ending my own life. But I soon recognized that I had two beloved individuals who relied on my unwavering support—Akhilesh on the battlefield and my mother in the hospital. Courage was the only path forward.

After months of enduring uncertainty, Akhilesh returned from the war zone, bearing a missing palm and haunted by the memories of the war. I spent countless nights at the hospital, providing solace to my wounded husband as he woke up in agonizing pain. He shared with me the horrors he had witnessed in the war zone—the barren mountains devoid of cover, the enemy observing their every move from the mountain peaks, and the constant threat of death with every step.

I still marvel at how he survived the hail of bullets and bombs. Akhilesh participated in three crucial battles: Tololing, Hump, and Three Pimples. As an Artillery Forward Observation Officer (FOO), he directed the firing of 120 artillery guns on the peaks, fighting alongside the 2 Rajputana Rifles assault team. Despite being hit by Pakistan's artillery shelling during his third attack, Akhilesh survived and shared inspiring tales of the war, shedding light on the operational planning, the troops' mental state, and their interactions. It was a time when India witnessed the emergence of young leaders who guided and inspired the nation.

Our journey took an unexpected turn as we had to leave the Army due to Akhilesh's medical disability. Transitioning from Army to civilian life was far from easy. However, overcoming every obstacle, Akhilesh established himself in the corporate world, currently serving as a vice president at Tata Communications. Though our way of life changed, the core values imprinted by our Army experience remained. That's when I founded Inspiring Mantras, through which we conduct motivational sessions across the globe.

I penned down Nation First to share our unique and inspiring life experiences—a love story that flourished amidst the dark clouds of the Kargil War. The book not only provides firsthand accounts of the three attacks Akhilesh fought in the war but also delves into the emotional turmoil experienced by soldiers and their families. While training may help cultivate bravery and courage to some extent, we army wives have not undergone any formal training ourselves. It is our mental strength, positive outlook, and unwavering devotion to service that form the bedrock of our courage. 

As the founder of Inspiring Mantras, I have witnessed remarkable transformations in people after our motivational sessions. Our stories have the power to touch hearts. There are invaluable lessons from the Armed Forces that civil society should embrace. Soldiers, despite their diverse religious, regional, and cultural backgrounds, always prioritize the nation. Their lives are filled with hardship and constant challenges, yet their unwavering patriotism remains unshakable. The same holds true for their families. Through Nation First, I aim to ensure that these stories reach every Indian, offering a true-life account that reflects the Armed Forces' value system, the courage to fight, and the ability to overcome formidable challenges. My passion lies in fostering a dedicated and sincere workforce within our nation, inspiring every citizen to embrace the same dedication as our soldiers. The aim is to inspire society to develop a "never give up" attitude and foster a patriotic character within every citizen, just like our brave soldiers.

This is an excerpt from the book Nation First written by Shikha Akhilesh Saxean and published by Hachette India.

Suggested reading: Kargil Vijay Diwas: People Remember The War As They Saw It