Super Mom Syndrome: It's just a Misnomer

Surfing the internet I found something absolutely shocking. It was the 'Super Mom Syndrome'. ‘Super Mom Syndrome is the delusional belief held by a mother that she is capable of doing all things for all the people in her life at all times while perfectly managing herself’. There have been researches conducted to study this phenomenon. When I read through it, one thing that struck me was that we as children are imposing the need on our mothers to be the best. The society around also compels them to be supermoms!

The title ‘Supermom’ is a misnomer. It’s a façade that is pushing mothers into stress zone. Mothers don’t need that title.

Let us all understand one thing at a time. Mothers can at times become overwhelmed by the enormous amount of responsibilities that they face as a modern woman. With today’s busy schedule and the ever-growing demands of their time, it is getting harder to balance life, career and family. A greater level of energy is needed than before. Also, the exceptional social expectations are also making mothers vulnerable to the syndrome. This syndrome can arise when you begin to feel exhausted and guilty at the same time for all the things you have got to do, but can’t get done.

Nothing is perfect. Mother’s don’t have to strive for perfection at everything.

It’s absolutely fine if the kitchen or entire house is not immaculately clean. Not having a  dinner table full of elaborately prepared family dishes is not an imperfection. Family and household financial management need not be perfectly ordered. The groceries don’t have to be fully stocked. It’s okay if the cars are not well maintained for a day. Children can be taken care of by the father. The family clothes don’t always have to be kept clean and folded. All the deadlines don't have to be met. It’s okay to be lacking in certain things. And everything does not have to be perfect.

Setting impossible standards of perfection, one just wears themselves out!

Since there are greater demands placed from the outside on today’s women - to be perfect wives, super moms and successful business women - there have been greater degrees of internal conflict in many women about their complete and yet uncertain roles. Being true to yourself is crucial if you want to set yourself free. More than anybody else understanding, it’s important for mothers to realise that they are juggling between different worlds and that they are doing to the best of their abilities. When good days strike, be happy about it but when bad days come around, just stick around. Be proud of the amount of love and care you shower to others. Pat your back on the effort that you've put.

It’s important to come to terms with it because the unrealistic goals have a negative impact on a mother’s health.

According to Dr Demartini, Depression (unmet unrealistic expectations), difficulty in maintaining your weight, diminished exercise results (suppressed thyroid from repressed feelings) Fibromyalgia, muscle aches and painful joints (inflamed emotions) are one of earliest signs that take a toll on a mother's health.

The effects of having unattainable and unrealistic goals are Dryer rougher skin tone (anger induced testosterone), wrinkles (tensed muscles), chronic fatigue and low drive (unfulfilled highest values), hair loss (anger induced testosterone), anxiety (Unrealistic expectations), weakened immune system and frequent headaches (internal conflict).

We don’t want you to be Supermoms but just be our moms.

Most of the children don’t want their mothers to be like someone else. We definitely don’t want our mothers to be stressed and spoil their health. In fact, nobody in the family would ever want that. As children, we might want you to be the best in everything you do but not the cost of your health and happiness. We don’t want you to be supermoms. All we need is our mothers to be happy and best at what they are.

Also Read: New Mothers Need to Have a Social Life Too

Reshma is an intern with SheThepeople.TV