Refusal To Marry Can't Be Labelled As Abetment To Suicide: Bombay HC

The Bombay High court has struck down the prosecution of a man saying he can't be prosecuted for abetment to suicide if “his girlfriend” killed herself over his refusal to marry her, reports Hindustan Times. “It is the choice of every person to marry with a particular person or not; and nobody can compel any person to perform marriage with any particular person,” said justice MG Giratka. The man standing trial was accused by his deceased girlfriend’s father of allegedly pushing her to take the extreme step by refusing to marry her. Threatening/attempting or committing suicide on being jilted by a lover isn’t unheard of. It is eerily common among men and women to take their lives when their lover refuses to marry them. But how can we put the blame for their death on a person who did nothing more than refusing to marry them?

SOME TAKEAWAYS

• Often people resolve to take extreme steps like ending their lives when they fail in love.
• Is it fair to hold a man accountable for saying no to a marital alliance if the refusal drives the girl to commit suicide?
• Every person, irrespective of their gender, has the agency to decide whom they want to marry and whom they don’t.
• Don’t we all have the right to end a romance or not take it to the next level if it isn’t working out for us?

It is eerily common among men and women to take their lives when their lover refuses to marry them.

Often people resolve to taking extreme steps like ending their lives, when they fail in love. But what part do their partners play in their suicide? Is it fair to hold a man accountable for saying no to a marital alliance if the refusal drives the girl to commit suicide? This is such a delicate question, because a lot of people take their own lives due to the failure of a relationship, or more correctly when a love affair fails to formulate into a marriage. However, goading someone to take their own life, by brainwashing, torturing or being insensitive to them is different from showing no inclination to get married.

Every person, irrespective of their gender, has the agency to decide whom they want to marry and whom they don’t. And the Bombay High Court is right in saying that refusal to marriage doesn’t amount to abetment. The girl in question was heartbroken by her lover’s rejection, which is crushing. The heartbreak was a trigger yes, but the one who brought it on can’t be counted as a culprit.

Life isn't as black and white as the heady cocktail of romance and passion would want you to believe.

But what about this man’s right to have a say in a relationship? Don’t we all have the right to end a romance or not take it to the next level if it isn’t working for us? Also, women, today must be smarter to see through the deception of gaining affection and sexual favours on the promise of marriage. Relationships don’t work out due to an infinite number of reasons, but if a heartbreak seems to be the end of your world, then it is a sign to seek professional help.

Life isn't as black and white as the heady cocktail of romance and passion would want us to believe. We fall in love with all sorts of people. Some relationships work out, while some don't. But how we handle ourselves when life expects us to deal with incompatibility, heartless manipulators or hostile familial circumstances, which end a relationship prematurely, is up to us. We cannot pin the blame of a suicide stemming from a failed relationship on the one who walked away.  At least in case of a break-up, it is to each his own.

Pic by The Hans India

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Yamini Pustake Bhalerao is a writer with the SheThePeople team, in the Opinions section. The views expressed are the author’s own.