We Need To Free Rakshabandhan From Protector-Protected Dynamics

After the brutal rape and murder of Kolkata doctor, the city's doctors have come down to the streets protesting against the lack of safety of female doctors. They are demanding justice for the deceased doctor and security in the hospitals. Today is Rakhi, the festival that celebrates sibling bonds. The basic narrative of the festival is that men or brothers protect their sisters. But doctors of Kolkata refuse to accept that. 

It is not shocking. In an era where brothers rape their sisters, how can men be the protectors of women? In the era where women are gang-raped and murdered daily, how can any man be entrusted with a woman's safety? In an era where most of the culprits of women are from their own circles, how can Rakhi uphold men as protectors? 

This Rakhi, a medical college in Kolkata, KPC Medical College and Hospital, is organising a rally against the brutal rape and murder case. Named 'Suraksha Ka Bandhan', in this rally, women are going to tie Rakhi to the hands of random men on the streets, hailing them as protectors. Wait before concluding. 

The act is a dark humour, a sarcasm showing how men have failed as protectors. It is a Rakhi of shame that women will be tying on men's wrists reminding them how they have brought shame to the country. 

I stand in solidarity with this movement. Because Rakhi is for those who are with us, protect us and care for us. Not for those who can turn into animals at any point in life. 

On the eve of Rakhi

On the eve of Rakshabandhan, I was walking down the road to a grocery shop. I witnessed a strange encounter between a brother and a sister which made me ponder over the significance of Raksha Bandhan. The girl was busy on a call with a friend just outside her building. Just then, her brother beckoned her and bombarded her with questions inquiring whom she was talking to. The girl was now pale and clueless. She stammered and assured that the caller was just a friend. But the vigilant brother retorted that she was lying.

At this moment, I realised that the girl would be today tying a Rakhee, thread of love and protection, to her suspicious brother. She will be thanking him for his “protection” and hence validating his inquiring and “I don’t trust you” gaze. Is Rakhee a thread of love between brothers and sisters, or an ornamental string that ties protection and oppression together: patriarchy topped up with brotherhood?

The myth behind 'Rakhi':

Like every Hindu festival, Rakshabandhan also has a plethora of mythical stories that validate its significance. One of the most read and referred to is the story of Humayun and the widowed Queen Karnavati of Chittor. According to the story, when Bahadur Shah invaded Chittor, Queen Karnavati wrote to Emperor Humayun asking for protection. Along with the letter, she sent him a sacred thread as a symbol of love and protection. But before Humayun could save the queen and her kingdom, Chittor was captured and Queen Karnavati performed Jauhar. However, Humayun did reclaim Chittor for the deceased queen and handed over the throne to Karnawati’s eldest son. Since then Rakhee became a festival for sisters to show their gratitude towards their brothers, seeking their protection.

Does the festival encourage women to seek help from their brothers in times of distress, or be forever dependent on their protection (which are two different things)? Does it allow patriarchy to create a hierarchy among the two genders, labelling one as a strong protector, and the other as weak and in need of protection?

Read Also: Raksha Bandhan Tales: How Love & Loyalty Bound Siblings In Mythology

Rakhi, a festival or a norm?

When you strip it off all the patriarchal beliefs and customs like buying expensive gifts, then rakhi is a thread of love and care; a celebration of the sibling bond and not the protector-protected dynamics.

Rakhi is celebrated to reestablish the gender dynamics in our society. A brother is deified, put on the pedestal of worship. In return, he is expected to oblige his sister with ample gifts or money, as if a child is being rewarded for spelling the alphabets correctly, along with a promise that he will protect her for a lifetime. This custom ends up telling women that they can't protect themselves, and it also gives brothers the agency to police their sisters, in order to 'safegaurd' them. It is also unfair to the brothers, as they have to bear the societal pressure of being responsible for their sister's safety and showering them with gifts as well. So basically it is fair to no one.

It is important also to note that the significance of rakhi should have been redundant in case of a sister who has an infant or 4-5 years old as her brother. But, it does not. Rather, a sister is still expected to tie the thread of love and protection even to her infant brother. Isn't it unreasonable how a woman who has already completed twenty-years of her life alone, still needs to be protected by a brother who is much younger than her.

Also Read: Memories of women who lived through Partition and Independence

Perhaps we need a new perspective

This custom ends up telling women that they can't protect themselves, and it also gives brothers the agency to police their sisters, in order to 'safegaurd' them.

When you strip it off all the patriarchal beliefs and customs like buying expensive gifts, then rakhi is a thread of love and care; a celebration of the sibling bond and not the protector-protected dynamics. The relationship between a brother and sister is of friendship, freedom and support, and not of control and suspicion. If they want to, brothers and sisters today can free Rakshabandhan of the gendered and patriarchal aspects and make it all about mutual love and care.

And why just brothers and sisters, Rakshabandhan should allow every person to thank anyone who has helped or protected them in their life. It can also be a day to recognize the services of police, army and security guards that genuinely keep us out of harm's way. It will thus be a pure symbol of gratitude, upholding humanity and not any biases. I know that it is easier said than done. But then the gender dynamics in our society will forever remain static if we never initiate a change, thinking that the outcome that we seek is impossible to achieve.

Image Source: patrika.com

Rudrani Kumari is a freelancer with SheThePeopleTV. The views expressed are the author’s own.

Read Also: Girls Celebrate Raksha Bandhan By Defying Conventional Norms