Pakistani singer Meesha Shafi’s allegations of sexual harassment against Ali Zafar have shocked his fans across the world. However Zafar's response, in this case, has left us more dejected. How often have we seen men resort to their "family man" status to counter such allegations! What men do not understand is that such a defence not only comes across as banal but also reduces their credibility.
Yesterday, Shafi decided to come out in open and share her experience with sexual harassment with a Tweet. She also revealed that Ali has harassed her multiple times. Further, she clarifies that these incidents didn’t happen to her as a young newcomer. In fact, she claims that got harassed after coming into the public eye and being the mother of two children.
“I am the father of a young girl and a young boy, a husband to a wife and a son to a mother.”
Zafar argument is something we have heard countless times. Zafar says that he is deeply aware and supports of the global #MeToo movement. He further says, “I am the father of a young girl and a young boy, a husband to a wife and a son to a mother.”
While Zafar has every right to go to court to counter these allegations legally, we are sick and tired of men using "family man” image as a shield.
This isn’t the first time that a man has used his family to turn the tables and claim to be the victim of false accusations. During the infamous Kangana Ranaut -Hrithik Roshan spat the Krrish star casually slipped in that he was a family man who respected women.
He said, “These questions are not even asked, because we are taught to protect the woman, as we should. I myself have been brought up to think the same way, by my parents and the wonderful women in my life who have been my rock and support system. I'm deeply grateful to them. I will do my best to teach my children the same values of family and dignity. And yes, I will teach them to stand up for women. Always.”
This deliberate mention of family and female relatives feels like scraping the bottom of one's barrel of excuses.
Do men expect us to believe that they respect women just because they are taught to do so? Or because they are husbands, sons, or fathers? If only acquittal came at such a cheap price!
Every time women accuse men of any misconduct, they shove their “family man” image into our faces. Unsuspecting mothers, wives and daughters become a shield here, and we are to look at their innocent faces to decide whether a man is guilty or not.
Countless men go on to commit atrocities against women despite being a father or a husband.
Many perpetrators are two-faced, who go on to live a normal life with their families, while simultaneously letting their perversions wreak havoc on lives of other women.
When you respect women, it shows in your demeanour and actions. You don’t have to tweet or issue press releases sketching yourself as a responsible man. If you haven’t wronged, then base it on solid proofs and take it to court. Whitewashing your image with a coat of “family man” isn't going to work.
Also Read : India is Not Ready Yet, For a #MeToo Movement of its Own
Yamini Pustake Bhalerao is a writer with the SheThePeople team, in the Opinions section. The views expressed are author’s own.
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