Facing Gaslighting At Workplace? Here's How To Protect Your Well-being

Gaslighting in the workplace is a challenging issue that can significantly impact your reputation and career. A survey by MHR Global revealed that around 58% of individuals have experienced gaslighting at work. This phenomenon involves a colleague or supervisor manipulating you into questioning your sanity, memory, or perceptions. Such manipulation may include denying previous events, downplaying your feelings, or altering stories to make you feel at fault for various problems.

This article seeks to help you recognise gaslighting in the workplace and offers advice on how to regain control of the situation.

What is gaslighting? How do you identify it?

To effectively address gaslighting in the workplace, it's important to recognise what it means. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the gaslighter causes the victim to question their perceptions and sanity. For example, in a relationship, a husband might frequently request specific dinner items, only to feign surprise when his partner cooks them, denying he ever made those requests. This repeated behaviour can leave the partner feeling confused and doubting their reality. Similarly, in a work scenario, a manager may insist they don’t remember receiving a report you submitted just a few hours prior.

This tactic leads individuals to question their memories, enabling gaslighters to take advantage of insecurities for control. A manipulative boss might employ subtle strategies to sabotage your achievements at work, making it hard to demonstrate their true motives.

Gaslighting is characterised by continual doubt and second-guessing, and it becomes evident when these situations happen consistently, rather than just once in a while. Its subtle nature can cause you to doubt your perception of reality, making it especially damaging, as it inherently prompts you to question the validity of your experiences.

What are some indicators of gaslighting in the workplace? 

1) Gaslighted individuals often struggle to identify it due to the manipulation causing them to doubt themselves. Certain indicators may point to psychological manipulation, particularly gaslighting. A prominent sign is the frequent questioning of your perception. A licensed psychologist notes that if you find yourself feeling confused and unsure about your experiences after dealing with a colleague, it could be a sign of gaslighting. The gaslighter tends to blame you for errors you are sure you didn't make, leading to your self-doubt.

2) Many people have observed instances where a new manager feels insecure about a high-performing team member- In such cases, the manager attempts to undermine the employees by exaggerating their mistakes and criticising their contributions. This is a typical gaslighting tactic where they deny their previous statements so strongly that you begin to doubt your memory and perception.

Gaslighters may compliment you privately while undermining you publicly, or the opposite. They aim to create confusion and make you question your understanding of reality by presenting contradictory behaviours. 

3) You are often excluded from important meetings and decision-making conversations. This is another major form of workplace harassment. The gaslighter will exclude you from important meetings, conversations, and projects for no apparent reason. If you try to find out why you weren't included, they'll think you're overreacting. Or that you were wrong and didn't need to be included in this conversation. Even if something is critical to your work, they'll convince you it isn't. If you notice that you're frequently left out, it could indicate that you are experiencing gaslighting. 

4) Others start to notice how you are being treated through manipulation: This is an important point. When you are being manipulated for a long time, your colleagues will likely notice that you are being treated differently. It is up to you to find a trusted colleague who will be honest with you about what they notice.

5) You may find yourself assigned to trivial projects that do not hold much significance. Instead of being actively involved in important tasks, you are given "busy work" that fills your time without contributing to meaningful outcomes. This could be an attempt to undermine your position and hinder your productivity, leaving you with little to demonstrate during performance reviews due to a lack of substantial work.

6) The gaslighter creates scenarios to make you feel ashamed. For instance, they might purposely neglect to inform you about a meeting via email, leading you to miss it. Subsequently, they will criticise you for not attending. No matter how hard you try, your work is never "good enough." As mentioned above, gaslighters will find mistakes where there are none. But they will also be unimpressed or disappointed with your best work. 

If you think a coworker is gaslighting you, here are some steps to take.

Is gaslighting considered workplace harassment? If gaslighting occurs about a protected characteristic such as race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation, it is important to file a harassment complaint, as workplace discrimination is a significant concern. Although gaslighting isn't explicitly mentioned in harassment policies, both state and federal laws offer protection against hostile work environments linked to various protected characteristics.

Your company should provide an accessible internal policy that outlines the procedures for addressing harassment complaints. If you think you are facing sexual harassment or discrimination related to race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or any other protected category, please check your company's policies and inform human resources.

Here are five steps to deal with gaslighting in the workplace:

• Confirm it's gaslighting

• Document the gaslighter's behavior

• Get support and focus on self-care

• Meet with your gaslighter

• If all else fails, escalate the problem

The initial step in the healing process is to recognise that you are experiencing gaslighting and understand that it is not your fault. If you've been dealing with gaslighting in your workplace, it's crucial to seek support for your recovery. There are various resources available, including apps, support communities, and personal coaches, that can offer guidance and strategies to assist you. These tools can help restore your confidence and self-esteem.

Views expressed by the author are their own