If It Happens, Happens: Urmila Matondkar Is Not Really Looking Forward To Become A Mother

Actor-turned-politician Urmila Matondkar has been married to her husband Mohsin Akhtar Mir for almost six years. She often shares pictures of her family sometimes posing with her husband and her dogs. Recently during an interview with a leading publication, she was asked about her plans for motherhood.

The actor's answer was firm and respectful. She was asked if she is 'looking forward' to motherhood. Matondkar replied, "Yes and no. If it happens, it happens. I’m not looking forward to it nor am I ‘not looking forward’ to it. It’s not necessary for every woman to be a mother. Motherhood should happen for the right reason. I love children. But there are so many children out there who need our love and care. It’s not necessary that they be born from you."

Matondkar rightly said that not every woman wants to bear children and it does not have to do with them loving or hating children. Just because women can give birth does not mean that every woman would want to go through it. There are so many women who would want to be a mother to a child without giving birth because motherhood is a responsibility and an emotion and not just a biological process of giving birth.

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Earlier this year, Pope Francis made a public speech in which he said that people who choose to have pets instead of children are selfish. He said, "Today… we see a form of selfishness. We see that some people do not want to have a child. Sometimes they have one, and that’s it, but they have dogs and cats that take the place of children." Pope Francis received a lot of flak from social media users who did not agree with his problematic statement. If a woman does not want to have children and wishes to shower her motherly love on her pet then what is the harm? She should rather welcome home a pet rather have an unwanted child. Women who choose to be child-free are judged by their family members and society because how can she choose something for herself ? The Pope is not even satisfied with one child as if we have to have more than that to establish ourselves as thoughtful citizens of the world.

The constant interrogations about future parenthood puts women in a tight spot where they are expected to explain something that should totally be nobody's concern. There was a time when women could not choose to be child-free but in the present, most women are independent with their careers and aspirations to look forward to. If they do not want to add the pressure of providing for a child or sacrifice their bodies for the progression of the world then why should they be judged for it?

The question about motherhood barely escapes women no matter how accomplished they become. Case in point Urmila Matondkar who has had a successful film career and now a political one. Why should she be asked if she is looking forward to motherhood if the person asking her the question is not even aware of her ideas about motherhood?

Views expressed by the author are their own.