Tyler James Williams Ends 'Dangerous' Speculations About His Sexuality

Abbot Elementary star Tyler James Williams recently took to his Instagram handle to address the speculation about him being gay. He wrote that he wouldn’t usually address speculations about his personal life but felt that it was a conversation bigger than him.

"I’m not gay, but I think the culture of trying to ‘find’ some kind of hidden trait or behaviour that a closed person ‘let slip’ is very dangerous," wrote the Emmy nominee on Instagram.

Tyler James Williams explained that being straight doesn’t look one way, and being gay doesn’t look another way. He pointed out how an individual’s behaviour is overanalysed in an attempt to "catch" them directly, which in turn contributes to anxiety in queer and queer-questioning people who survive with the fear of living their truth. He shared how this attitude made normal conversations and interactions in spaces less safe for the LGBTQIA community.

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Tyler James Williams On Sexuality

Tyler James Williams added that this attitude in society "reinforced an archetype" that many straight men have to follow, which is unrealistic and restricts and limits an individual’s freedom of expression. Further, he stated that he has been very clear about the intentionality he puts into his platform to drive away those archetypes every chance he gets.

He indicated that what might seem to be a harmless, fun conversation might send a "dangerous message" to people who are struggling with "real issues." He also stated that he refuses to inadvertently contribute to such messages.

Dangerous Speculations

This isn’t the first time people have felt entitled to assume someone’s sexuality or identity. Earlier this year, Stranger Things actor Noah Schnapp took to his TikTok handle to come out as gay. He mentioned that when he came out to his friends, they said that they already knew. In October 2022, actor Kit Connor came out about being bisexual after slamming his attackers for "forcing an 18-year-old to out himself."

The whole idea of trolling a man by deeming him gay has become so common in recent times. Even if the question is asked for reasons of curiosity instead of bigotry, that still places pressure on the person to "come out".

How is it even funny to joke about one’s sexuality and identity? Isn’t it disrespectful to the LGBTQIA+ community and the people who are struggling to come out of the closet?

Kit Connor

Sexuality Does Not

Moreover, it also restricts men from expressing their true selves. Men, even if they wish to, cannot embrace their femininity, which is very normal for straight men too. Men are trained to be tough and hard because that’s perceived to be synonymous with masculinity. From not being able to express their emotions like sadness, grief, fear, vulnerability, etc. to doing things such as cooking, cleaning, dressing up, wearing makeup, and pursuing so-called feminine careers like fashion, patriarchy comes down hard on men too.

Men who do anything remotely feminine are quickly associated with being gay and trolled for it. But why is owning up to one’s true sexuality and identity something to be made fun of? Coming out and owning up to one’s true self actually requires a lot of courage, and not everyone can do that. These people deserve to be respected and treated the same as any other person.

Society really needs to stop with the sick humour and become more considerate towards fellow human beings. Also, if we know someone who we wonder is gay, we don’t have to do anything about it. Probing them with questions and scrutinising their behaviour is only going to suffocate them. By no means does that help! Let them come out at their own pace, and as friends or family, all we have to do is be supportive of them.

Views expressed are the author's own.