Women Who Come From Conservative Families Often Lie To Live A Little

Indian women always lead ‘two lives’ within one. This statement stands correct for all those who have experienced the wrath of their families when they chose to live their own life, the way they wanted. We grow up following a rule book titled- your life is everyone else’s but yours. The patriarchs though forget one little thing, the header of this rule book is blank. And thus, women fill it the way we want.

Forget about telling our entire identity to our parents just try telling them that you are on dating apps, or the headache you had last week was due to a hangover, or how you went to a film with your friends after college, instead of heading home. Believe me, you will be pinned to the wall, interrogated, threatened, shamed, and in many cases, punished. Is it surprising then, that many young women choose to lie to their families so that they can experience a degree of freedom?

The life of a young Indian woman is nothing less than that of a secret agent- dual identities, clearing of the evidence, faking the good-girl image, and above all mastering the art of lying. Don’t get me wrong, I am not encouraging you to lie to your parents or guardian, I am just putting the truth out there for everyone to see, especially Indian parents so that they get a reality check.

It could be thrilling to have a secret life, but there is a point of exhaustion after which one doesn’t want to have it. And yet, women have no choice but to carry on with the garb. If they dare to come clean to their families, they will lose everything, starting from their mobile to their mobility. So, freedom to step outside of the house comes with a price for Indian women. Usually, this price is paid in the form of dignity, self-respect, and a ton of lies.

Suggested Reading: Single Women: When Is Society Going To Give Them Due Respect?

Young women from strict families: Lying for some freedom in life

Many Indian families ‘allow’ their daughters to go outside but on certain conditions which start with a genuine reason to step outside and the time by which they should be at home. Because ‘acche ghar ki ladkiyan bina baat baahar nahi jaati’, only if you have a good enough reason to persuade your parents, welcome to the world!

Society finds single, independent women managing their own lives not only inadequate but also an aberration. Perhaps, it’s too much for our society to see a woman happy and single. So they choose to consider them as ‘failures’ if they move out of the guided narration of sanskari girls. Forget not, that one’s parents are part of society too, so if a girl rebels for her freedom, she also has to face her own parents in the fight. That is where she feels the need to lie to her parents in order to get them to believe that she isn't a threat to their honour.

Be a puppet or be a rebel

Indian parents hardly ever understand the concepts like decision making, boundaries, privacy, choices and individuality and they think taking away a girl's agency is in her best interest. But, no one likes to be a puppet of someone’s hand, even if they are our parents. Try and tested, I myself cannot persuade my parents into thinking that there are more careers than being an engineer or a doctor.

Here is the thing, no individual wants to live a life full of lies, and cover-ups. It is no one's dream to become a liar one day. Yet, when society throws upon the young individual a wick of problems and we do not even have a support system, we lie. That’s basic human nature. I don’t want to make my parents proud, said no kid ever.

The views expressed are the author’s own.