Why Is Radhika Apte's Comment On "Women's Sacrifice" And "Assumed Responsibilities" On Point?

In a recent interview, actor Radhika Apte spoke about the "extra" responsibilities that her mother had despite the fact that both of her parents were working professionals. Her comment has sparked two sets of opinions on the internet. Recently, a Twitter user compared Apte’s comment to the women of his grandmother’s time and said that all he could see was entitlement and selfishness in what Apte said.

In the interview, Apte mentioned that both her parents were doctors: her mother was an anaesthetist and CEO, and her father was a neurosurgeon and chairman of the hospital that they were running together. Apte said that despite both her parents being working professionals of the same rank, her mother knew how to cook and her dad didn’t. While both of them could have "chosen" not to cook, her mother decided to cook for everyone.

Radhika Apte On Womens Sacrifice

Apte explained that women, despite knowing that they can choose to say no, don’t do so because they have an "assumed responsibility" to take care of the family. Women are afraid to draw boundaries because women are considered to be the natural carers, and their sacrifice is glorified.

This Twitter user wrote, "I look at something like this and think of my grandma, who used to cook for nearly 20 people, three meals a day, including her kids and her sister-in-law's kids. With a smile on her lips and with much love. I only see entitlement and selfishness in what she says." While netizens are divided into two groups and are making contrary points, this one seems to be one of the most irrational comparisons ever.

The guy is plainly glorifying his grandmother for serving the family with her unpaid domestic labour with a smile on her lips. He talks about how his grandfather provided for the family and made sacrifices on his end too. This is a very unreasonable comparison because, back in the day, women were denied the basic right to education and their sole responsibility was taking care of the family while the men provided. Is that the scenario in today’s world? Of course not! So isn’t this comparison completely absurd?

Coming back to Apte’s comment, the actor has highlighted one of the most problematic issues that many Indian women continue to face even today. Right from childhood, women are taught to be caring; basically, they are raised to be caretakers. Regardless of how educated and self-sufficient women are, taking care of the family is perceived solely as their responsibility.

Also, girls grow up watching their mother, grandmother, aunts, and older sisters bend over backwards to take care of the family. Even if the mothers were working, they were burning the candle at both ends for almost their entire lives! This is not something to glorify. This is highly problematic and endangers the physical and mental health of women. A wife need not "ask" her husband to help with domestic chores or parenting. He needs to do his equal share because it is his responsibility too! It’s his house and his child; hence, he is obliged to contribute his equal share.

Apte's parents both had highly demanding careers, but only her mother had the extra responsibility of taking care of the family because she’s a woman. Most women often feel the need to take up responsibility because that is what patriarchy has ingrained in them. It’s time for women to start prioritising themselves by saying no and drawing boundaries—that doesn’t make them bad people.

The scenario has changed; today both men and women are pursuing careers. So, how is it fair to expect women to solely handle household responsibilities and parenting? There is nothing wrong with what Apte points out because even today in most Indian households, a man can "choose" not to cook, citing that he’s working, but a woman does not have that privilege! How long are we going to let this scenario prevail? Shouldn’t these gender roles ingrained by patriarchy be eradicated? And to that end, we need to start being vocal about everything that’s regressive!

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Views expressed by the author are their own