Mirror Mirror On The Wall, Can I Just Have It All?
A young lady in my neighbourhood juggles between her personal and her corporate professional life with utmost perfection. I have often seen old aunts living in the vicinity praising her for being a “Superwoman.” The praise is followed by concerned remarks are reserved for mothers who don’t work and choose to sit at home. According to them,they don’t deserve the tag of being a “Superwoman” because they aren’t really struggling in their lives. And this, spurs a new debate!
The “superwoman” tag has been annoying women since ages. Some are vehemently against it and others for it. What’s wrong with being a superwoman? And if one is not, why isn’t that acceptable? Here at SheThePeople.TV we put together some voices on the debate.
Have women created a force field of high expectations of work life balance that may be unrealistic? This burnout to brilliance can cost women way too much stress in a world where many are pushing the boundaries to establish themselves outside of homes.
Kusha Kalra, Founder Of Happy Lives, cites some reasons regarding why women get infected by “Super Woman Syndrome”.
“Women tend to sacrifice for their loved ones. They feel the other person will be happy if you do something for them, without realizing that they are losing out on their own happiness as well. At work ,women take more work than they can manage. The biggest self inflicted barrier created by women in their daily life experience is “The Super-Woman Syndrome” which means being perfect in everything they do.”
She adds that women in a bid to outperform have to work much harder than men. And unlike men they also carry a bigger load of upset and guilt. “We tend to feel guilty if we are not able to do extra work, or sit extra hours, or give time to family. We don’t want to do that extra work but guilt makes us sacrifice our own happiness. We have been brought up with the belief that we are strongest of them all, and have to take everything in our stride, even if it means compromising or feeling unworthy, or let down by others.”
Does Doing It All Make You Happy?
Often we are stuck in an awkward cycle. People depend on you, you are the first person they call for support, you are all supposedly all put together from writing notes in tiffin boxes of your babies to signing big deals in the corner office. But there is an inside voice that often asks you ‘why do I have to do it all?’ and ‘does doing it all make me happy?’ The answer may vary from people to people but at the core of it lies a question mark. A ‘I am not sure.’
May times women feel so incredibly overwhelmed just not knowing who to turn for help and internalising it as part of the perceived superwoman syndrome. You’re exhausted, overworked, tired, perhaps even pissed off, but hey you are a superwoman? Should we be getting far more realistic about ourselves? And important shall we measure ourselves in the same terms as men and not how much we could outdo them? Because the latter will keep us at the till for the rest of our lives!
Twinkle Nayyar, an engineering student of Delhi University, perceives the whole concept of being a superwoman in a different light.
“I don’t understand what’s wrong with being a superwoman? For me, every person, irrespective of gender, should strive to be the best version of themselves. That’s what we have been taught since childhood. And that’s the only way we will be able to progress as a a society. The problem props up only when women run after a stereotypical image of a good woman and in the process, put their well-being in jeopardy”.
Trying to please everyone around robs women of their uniqueness and individuality in the long run. This Women’s Day, let us take a pledge to allow the winds of change to sweep our lives and fill it with optimism.