Girl 1: I have become so fat, man! Look at my tummy! I feel like I am going to burst.
Girl 2: Oh please! Look at my tummy! I am fatter than you.
Have you ever been a part of such a conversation? If not, then I am sure, you have at least heard this conversation before. Why do we girls have this conversation?
“The phenomenon is because, before someone else can reject you, you reject yourself. It is a very typical way of defence mechanism. Before you say something mean to me, let me say something mean to myself. How can you do any worse than that? You can’t hurt me because I have hurt myself already. This has many layers to it,” said Meera Haran Alva, Psychologist & Psychotherapist, while explaining the phenomenon.
SheThePeople asked some girls what made them feel conscious about their body and here are some of their responses
There are times when I do get conscious of my body image because I can see my body change from healthy to unhealthy, but that’s the only concern. I’ve been a dancer for most years and to see that my body is not toned enough does make me feel like I’m trudging towards the unhealthy bracket.
- Punita Sharma, 28
My thighs! I hate them! If only I can reduce my thighs I think my life will be sorted.
- Person did not want to be named
It has to be my tummy fat. How much ever I try, that is something I cannot get rid off. To top it, I have diabetes which makes my weight fluctuate too often.
- Ankita Mehta, 24
I have been called names because of my dark skin and I did everything to compensate for that. Now I am comfortable in my skin but still think twice before trying out something new. I think that is something I still have to learn.
- Ashwini Loganathan, 27
If you feel like you need some push to be confident, here are some body confidence tips you need to know.
Look at yourself in the mirror, naked
Do you run behind the door to change your clothes? Well, then if you want to become body positive, you have to spend time looking at your naked self. And trust me, this alone can change the way you feel about your body.
Buy yourself that fancy cream you have been eyeing for or go get that long pending spa done. It is important to make your body feel special and a little pampering is only going to help you feel more confident.
Like Oscar Wilde said, “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
Surround yourself with people who love you
Love is contagious, quite literally. Surrounding yourself with people who love you can boost your confidence dramatically as they reinforce positive things about you. This indirectly suppresses your chain of thoughts that pull your self-esteem down.
Award-winning hairstylist, Jo Blackwell-Preston says, “Don’t you dare, for one more second, surround yourself with people who are not aware of the greatness that you are.”
Fat or Thin, You are beautiful
The tradition of measuring weight frequently has been deeply etched in our psyche. But the truth is, weight is just a quantitative measure of the pull earth exerts on you. Don’t understand how that works? Me neither! Let us just say, you should donate your measuring tape to your neighbourhood tailor and be happy in your own body.
Remember the feeling when your academic marks would be compared to your classmate’s or your cousin’s marks? That enraged us and always led to lower self-esteem and lesser confidence, then how can comparing oneself to someone who is different from you make any sense?
Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are- Maryln Monroe
Ditch that comparison and if at all you are in a mood, look around yourself, you will realise people come in all shapes and sizes and each one of them is beautiful in their own way.
Our favourite Marilyn Monroe said, “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are”.
Let us put our best self forward.
Imagine how someone who loves you would see you
Whenever you feel your confidence dropping and nothing seems to make you feel better, try imagining how someone who loves you would see you.
Wear what you like
Wear clothes which define you. Don’t pay heed to trends and absolutely don’t listen to them telling you what not to wear. You wear what you like, girl.
Tina Fey urges girls to not “waste your energy trying to change opinions. Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.”
Wear your skin
Most importantly, wear your skin proudly. Dark, white, pale, brown, yellow, whichever shade it may be, wear it well because that shade is unique and so are you.
Does your lower body flaunt a thigh gap? Show em’ what you got!
Does your waist refuse to fit into that top which you bought two months back? Go buy a new one! It is season end sale time anyways!
You are beautiful no matter what! Healthy food and some exercise may make you even more confident but remember that you have got to be the best version of yourself for you and not for anyone else!