Under the glorious canopy of a mandap, the stage is set to celebrate a celestial union. The air is filled with the glow of twinkling lights and camera flashes, as the bride and groom exchange varmalas, finally after weeks of a pre-wedding countdown all over social media. Then comes the tacit contest among the guests– who will be the first one to post a picture of the romantic (and quite frankly, chaotic) moment to their Instagram story? More importantly, whose post makes the couple look immaculate and so deep in love, you cannot help but swoon?
The festivities of the wedding are memorialised by the guests on their social media feeds, not devoid of a hashtag merging the bride and groom’s names. But what happens after the confetti settles to dust and the flowers in the varmala start to dry up? Not to worry; That’s when the professional photographer’s work comes in handy, lest you forget the event that happened weeks ago. It's safe to say, ‘Picture abhi baki hai mere dost.’
Are Weddings Becoming A Performance For The Gram?
Actor Aamir Khan’s daughter Ira recently tied the knot with her long-term beau Nupur Shikhare, drawing attention not only because of Aamir’s celebrity status but also the couple’s whimsical antics during the ceremonies. Be it eschewing the ghodi for a marathon, or a pyjama party with all the guests, traditional wedding customs were spiced up, reflecting the couple’s personalities.
Ira and Nupur’s jubilant pre-wedding celebrations started almost a month ago and the post-wedding shenanigans continue to dominate tabloids and social media feeds even now. However, this is not just restricted to celebrities, as even regular couples incessantly post #Shaadi photos for months before and after their wedding these days.
Not to shame anyone for their choices, but it does get a tad annoying to see the same photos in different angles peppering your Instagram feed for weeks. SheThePeople spoke to a few social media users to find out how they truly feel when they come across wedding posts from a couple even days later. From suppressed urges to unfollow, to feeling left out, here’s what they had to say.
Sonika Sharma from Prayagraj confided, “I tend to mute people who post too much about their wedding. Not only because it gets boring to see the same old photos with lovey-dovey captions, but also for my own mental well-being. I cannot help but envy the couples, because even though I would love to marry my boyfriend, our parents are against it because of our religious identities.” Sharma said she believes that social media validation has been deeply ingrained into our lives as posting about each of our milestones has become an obligation.
Down south, an annoyed Priyadarshini Sethia from Bengaluru described the perils of recent trends in the social media era’s wedding landscape.“I have seen people do a countdown with pictures from their pre-wedding photoshoot. And all their friends repost it to their social media accounts. And if I'm in contact with those friends, my feed is filled with posts only from that wedding for days.”
She continued, “It feels like even weddings are getting more commercialised than ever these days because of social media. People spend a lot to try and make their wedding fit social media standards. It sets unrealistic expectations for others planning a wedding too.”
Does Social Media Place Pressure On Couples And Families?
With social media, the intimate lives of influencers and celebrities have become more accessible as we get a glimpse into every small detail about their lavish events and weddings. However, the downside to this is that couples now feel an unspoken pressure to meet the new standards so that their wedding can be picture-perfect too.
A selfie photoshoot station, a revolving tripod to make artistic reels, or firework sparklers around the mandap that set off right at the crucial moment-- These features are becoming increasingly common at weddings these days. However, can everyone afford such social media-friendly nuptials?
A 27-year-old woman who did not want to be named in this article said, “I come from a Punjabi family and we are stereotypically known for our over-the-top celebrations. My husband and I were spending our own money for the wedding and could not afford much grandiose so we kept it simple. However, some of our relatives were comparing our wedding to others’ and being so judgemental. One aunty even said, ‘Your photos won’t be good’. These kinds of expectations are set by social media itself.”
Recently wedded Nishi Trivedi from Mumbai begs to differ. “I feel people want to share their most happy moments with the world and so they do that. It's like a special moment that you want to announce like, 'Hey look, I'm married! This person is so important to me.' So I did post a few photos because a lot of my friends could not make it to the wedding. However, there is no obligation. It is a very personal choice. Whether you share or not, your happiness counts.”
Trivedi agrees that posting too much can invite irritation from followers and said that she finds it important to find the right balance. She also touched upon the importance of being aware of when and how often she posts. “I posted photos from my wedding and honeymoon only after a few days because I wanted to be present in the moment. I try to steer clear of social media when I'm having a good time,” she narrated.
Resonating with Trivedi’s opinion, Neha Arur, a bride-to-be from Mumbai spoke about ditching social media standards and sticking to rituals that stood the test of time. “For us, watching celebrity’s, influencers’ or friends’ weddings is enjoyable, but we never imagined the same for ours. Our dream is a simple celebration our way with rituals, close relatives, and friends. Instagram pics do affect our thoughts, but reality brings us back to practicality– considering finances and emotions,” she said, anticipating a joyful celebration soon this month.
While sometimes pre-wedding countdowns seamlessly merge into pre-first-anniversary countdowns, we sometimes cannot hope but think, “Me and who?” when we look at those photos. However, wedding posts not only serve #CoupleGoals but also revive the yearning to be a part of joyous celebrations with all our friends and family. Moreover, why should the memories of these beautiful milestones be hidden at the bottom of our gallery when they could be immortalised on social media?
Views expressed by the author are their own.
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